When I came to New York City last year I stood in this great city,and complained! No one knew my name but my doorman!Things needed to changefor business success and they did. Because I learned the secret to success in a New York MINIT…and that’s being skilled in Relational Communications! It's now my business, Knowing how to help people and organizations connect interpersonally for business is what I do across the city, the country and the world…and now people know know my name!
I want to share one tool in my Relational Communications Toolbox with you. It's the tool that I have used repeatly in making connections…It’s the virtual hammer of connectivity …the tool that is primary for developing business connectivity. It’s what speakers know is a valuable part of connection…It’s eye contact.
And in the Tool box of the NY MINIT, my framework for business connectivity…we get our Interconnectivity from the Hammer…our Eyes…I use this hammer because it is the attention getter in the tool box…BAM!...Notice me…...Bam!…Work with me…Bam…I am interested in you..Bam…I want to hear more…
Your eyes speak in network---ese . With your eyes you will network to get work!
So let me introduce two important tenets for you to think about using your eyes when you are in a networking situation…that is when you are in a large room making small talk that you want to lead to Big work!
And let’s leave the phrase Eye Contact and step it up a bit..this is EYE WORK:Flexibilty of Eye Work! Relational Eye Work!
We all need to change gears when using our eyes…In these big networking rooms are men and women of different cultures ages…You have to change hats as you network! A Yankee "hat", if you will,making eyecontact with a man. A Strong handshake…eyes strong and steady.
You change hats making eye contact with a woman..turn it around…eyes direc,yet a bit softer for me. And single handed handshake. Not too tight!.You don’t want to negate the importance changing gears and hats…if you wander around looking like this…you are looking …using your eyes…not to your advantage.
Tenet 2… Relational eye contact. As you hold a conversation you may have to balance listening and eye use…You are receiving a message when you hold eye contact…you hope to match with your chat partner so that you can quickly gain their trust…
Again..we’ll go with men vs. woman…Let's imagine making eye contact at an EVENT with Einstien…intense rapt with attention…then change gears,making contact with Jerry Seinfeld! Heightened ready for anything…making contact with James Dean…Ready for another kind of anything…!!! You have to change hats...So Practice… Use the mirror…bring a mirror before you network…use inanimate objects…use your significant other…in some homes…that can be an inanimate object!…Pets…Use pets like your dog …Perfect!
So having Flexibilty and Relational skills can help make your phone ring… Like this!
Imagine. You Could end with the Brad Pitt on the line...It would go like this...… "Brad ? Yes, I told you not to call me at work…Yes, I’d love to lay my eyes on you…tonight? Umm Brad…is Angleina at home? If she is.. Fuggetabout it!"
So this NY MINIT of Relational Communication has created one picky woman in NYC…why not you?