Thinking Social Media ?

http://mashable.com/2009/05/27/share-social-media-profiles/

Expland your thinking.

Save the Date!

Breakfast with June 25th with Danny Meyer. RSVP to me: trish@theedventuresgroup.com!

BREAKFAST WITH DANNY MEYER

Hi, folks:

Great news for my power networking fellows---

I am partnering on an exclusive breakfast event with Danny Meyer, the head of UNION SQUARE GROUP , and guess what? The reduced fee for a fabulous “Breakfast with Danny Meyer “ at Tabla is now $60 for friends of Trish Rubin....and that's you.

This is going to be an amazing NYC breakfast event…skip the gym and spend time in a unique setting!

What you get:

1. A special, “first ever” breakfast feast by Chef Floyd Cardoz, Executive Chef of Tabla
( The fantastic, sexy, groundbreaking restaurant where we will dine.)
2. Great networking with some of NYC's best movers and shakers…expand your circles with new contacts!
AND….
3. An up-close and personal presentation by the master, Danny Meyer*

This is a first. A small, intimate room where you can meet a NYC business legend and hear him talk about starting a highly competitive business in NYC, one of the most competitive markets in the world; breaking ground for Union Square Cafe in a not-yet gentrified location, building slowly ( His second restaurant wasn't started for 14 years), using service as a core component in his recipe for success, “collecting the dots and connecting the dots” to build a loyal network...and more, much more.

Remember, Danny grew his brand slowly and deliberately --we can all learn from his success story as we enjoy the company of others who want to experience service and connection in an inspiring way. This breakfast is a must as you head into summer. Register now, and please spread the word & forward this email to others.

Connect in the Garden

Lest you think that I am all connecting work and no play...check out the Garden of Connecting Delight. Les Jardin Bistro,25 Cleveland Pl, between Kenmare and Spring Sts, Nolita, (212-343-9599).

This surprisingly subtle restaurant has muted-yellow walls, aged wooden palnk floors, carefully placed botanical drawings and lace curtains that shield diners from the street...AND an amazing garden of botanical delights where you can invite your favorite people to lunch and create a buzz in a very European setting. Great for CREATION events for friends and clients.

Don't Cut your PR Budget in the Downturn, be an ACE with Trish Rubin

ACE your brand, your networking skill, and take steps to new strategies that can market you quickly! Let me, Trish Rubin, marketing and PR specialist in the NEW PR movement, help you become the CMO…Chief Marketing Officer of your business life.
AND LET ME DO IT IN A NEW YORK MINUTE, just as my popular networking book suggests! www.trnewyorkminute.com

If you are overwhelmed with information as you start a new direction, or if you are stuck in this downturn economy, pinkslipped and powerless, you need a trusted partner to help you take the first steps of action. You need someone to help you design and implement a plan to ACE your future direction. So let me teach you to ACE, that’s Associate, Create and Engage for focus, control and action. In 5 easy one hour sessions, you will meet your identified goals. I’m someone who fits into your marketing budget…according to AMNew York!
even if you are a solo-preneur!

Don’t make the mistake of going it alone. Get connected for success quickly.

I guarantee you will not only create a plan, but you will take ACTION in a NY MINUTE! You will learn foundational business and face to face and online marketing skills to increase revenue and grow the presence of your business.
I tell my clients, “I AM NOT YOUR THERAPIST, I AM YOUR CATALYST” and my influence creates ATTENTION, INTEREST,DESIRE AND ACTION around your personal business goal.

Take FIVE and be ALIVE!…Five hour individual sessions are booking with me or with one of my trainers. Small group sessions are available as well.
Join the service providers, retailers, small businesses, artists, and others who have learned to ACE their business direction.

Contact:Trish@theedventuresgroup.com

A Sharp Eye on the World

Nancy Ireland ‘s lifestyle/newsletter website for women in their late 30's and up is called "A Sharp Eye" www.asharpeye.com. I happily was introduced to the site through my bath junkie connection. The site launched in late November, 2008, and it is positively lovely and delightful. I highly recommend you view it! Along with her newsletter partner, Ginny Day, their interest in finding the hallmarks of effortless and gracious lifestyle, brings the best to readers.

Before her website development, Nancy had an impressive, ten year career as an attorney in New York City focusing on criminal justice and housing. She has served on many boards in Connecticut, and currently serves on the board of the Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt Institute in Hyde Park, New York. Ginny Day, Nancy’s partner in the lifestyle newsletter, and an economic development consultant, has a keen interest in social networking. Her work in Greenwich on various Boards and foundations has grown her network and connections. Both of these elegant and educated women, leave time in their lives for travel and family, which makes the tone of their newsletter, genuine and elegant…please check out their view of the world. www.asharpeye.com

Add these savvy women to those in the know as you connect the dots and grown your network!

Mark your Networking Calendar...The MORNING BREAKFAST NETWORK SING at STEINWAY!

The Third Time's the CHARM! Back by Popular Demand!

Change your networking tune in a tough economy.
NETWORK at STEINWAY's SPRING SING
and meet new power professionals for result!
Trish Rubin's New York MINUTE Networking invites you to its THIRD ---
Networking Breakfast Morning Sing TM!
Generously Sponsored by Steinway , bath junkie, and Dr. Robert Sorin
Start Early and POWER your Business Day with New Connections!
SING in the Morning at Elegant STEINWAY Hall
Network with connected NYC professionals in a room that HUMS! Be part of an energized, unique NETWORKING experience in the heart of NYC!
Trish Rubin's New York MINUTE Proudly Presents

A Networking Breakfast "Morning Sing" TM
It's the New Power Hour meeting for savvy NYC professionals
Skip the Gym and PUMP up your SPRING Networking!
Meet Up and Sing--- or Listen and Applaud!
Gift Bags to the first 50 attendees!

8:00am: Networking and Hosted Buffet Breakfast in a GRAND NYC Space..STEINWAY HALL!
8:30am-9:00am: Trish Rubin presents A New York Minute Group Singing Warm-up led by Ingrid Saxon, Vocal Coach. Group Choral Sing accompanied by Betsy Hirsch of Steinway
9:00 am: Take on the Business World with a SPRING in your Step, a Song for your day and new leads!!
Date: June 4th 8:00 am-9:00am
Venue: Steinway Hall , 109 West 57th Street. Btwn 6th and 7th Avenues
RESERVE TODAY!

Questions: trish@theedventuresgroup.com

Three Times the Network Charm...JB Rote'

You never know where the connections are as you build your network...So I'm at a crafts fair in upstate NY on the holiday weekend...and the best thing about it is not the baubles...it's meeting JB Rote' from NYC. She was representing the most talented jewelry designer at the fair--but in such style..That's because she is a talented NYC performer!! She has an SLN credit! Please check this dynamo out! When it comes to connecting the dots, she has an interesting spin on connecting with people. And my lens is always on the ways to be different and resourceful as you meet and connect.

Here's JB's meet up tip for herself and please think of its originality....SO---I asked her what JB meant in her name when she gave me her card... she said very sweetly, "I have a three time rule about my name...I only tell people my full name AFTER I meet them 3 times!!!" I like the audacity and the energy and the edge of that idea.In fact I may have to satrt using MY initials..TA RUBIN anyone???...You just would find it impossible not to follow up with her. So I may steal a page from her networking book as I am writing my own book two!

I'm hoping that she will finally tell me the JB secret. I've got 2 times to go...meanwhile...she's a talented performing force to be reckoned with...just google her name...and stand back. When I get her full name, I will tell you her website details...smile

Backwards in Heels for Fall! September 16th at Steven-Bradford Search

With a big THANK YOU to Erika Weinstein, President of Stepehen-Bradford Search, Trish Rubin's Backwards in Heels Networking for Executive Women announces its fall date, September 16th in the fabulous offices of Bradford-Search on Madison Avenue. The panel for this hot ticket for executive women's empowerment and networking is being built with care for my loyal subscribers and new guests who recognize the value of women meeting the women THEY MUST MEET ON THE SOLES OF THEIR FEET! There will be surprises and entertainment as well as POWERFUL CONTENT from four high profile NYC women.

As soon as the panel is set, you will hear.From my initial meetings on the event, I'd say it is a WINNER!!!

Interesting News for Networkers seeking Low Rates!

I met a wonderful New Yorker, Michael Laitman, at a great networking breakfast run by my good friend and SUPER CONNECTOR, Ron England, at the Penn Club on Wednesday. Ron's Wharton Leads Breakfast is an invitation to powerful connections. I've never thought of blogging about financial services, but Michael is a very genuine person with an interesting product...an affordable interest only mortgage. If you or someone you know needs his help to close on this powerful Merrill Lynch mortgage product, you will be in great hands. He is one of the GOOD GUYS! I was compelled to offer him a spot as a POWER CONNECTOR on my blog. Michael helps people connect the dots to saving money. Have a look at the details!






The mortgage is interest-only for the first 10 years, adjustable monthly, and linked to the one-month LIBOR Index. We have the lowest rate available in the market today.
Today's rates for loans up to $3 million (all rates and terms subject to change):

1.875%, with 1 point.

2.250%, with zero points.
Additional benefit: If a client has $1 million at Merrill Lynch, they may qualify for a 0.25% discount off the spread. For example, the rate with zero points would be only 2% for a client with a $1 million account. So, a $600,000 mortgage at a rate of 2% would only cost $1,000 per month.
No pre-payment penalties and the borrower can pay down principal at any time.
General info: Maximum 55 - 65% financing (based on loan amount and location), no current home renovations, excellent credit, home not held in a trust, home not listed for sale in the past 6 months. Not available in all areas. Merrill Lynch is an equal opportunity housing lender.
Thanks for your help.
Warm regards,
Michael


Michael D. Laitman, CFM

Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management

2 World Financial Center, 40th Floor

New York, NY 10281-6100

Phone: 212-236-4255

Fax: 212-669-0715

E-mail: Michael_Laitman@ml.com

PR Cutbacks at Corporate can Be a Boon to Outsourcing Contractors

My surefire abilty to quickly get single practitioners,small businesses and service providers to ACE their brand presence and leverage their network makes me smile when I read these comments.

http://blogs.bnet.com/pr/?p=373

The word is spreading about contractors, consultants, coaches, like myself who can provide quick ROI value in an affordable way in this downturn. NEVER HAS THE TIME BEEN BETTER to invest in what sets you apart from the rest---and to BUZZ that to your niche market.

If you want to ACE your Brand and your Network. I am the Henry Higgins of Networking!!!

WOMEN's NETWORKING EVENTS with SUBSTANCE AND STYLE!D

She COULD DO ANYTHING HER FAMOUS PARTNER DID...AND SHE DID IT backwards and HEELS!

In honor of GINGER ROGERS, an ICON of NETWORKING,I launched a power networking brand in 2008 called, "BACKWARDS IN HEELS NETWORKING!" Today we are looking at our 4th event in NYC on September 25th generously hosted by STEPHEN-BRADFORD SEARCH in midtown NYC. So mark your calendars. BIH offers GREAT CONNECTIONS for EXECUTIVE WOMEN and a panel discussion to power thinking and collaboration in any room from high above TIMES SQUARE to... Picadilly Square,yes, BIH goes BAckwards in LONDON this December! The BIH event always has learning at its core, but connection and fun as well. There's always entertainment...and there's always a gallery of a few good men who are invited to see how the other half networks!

If you are interested in partnering on a Backwards in Heels event as a site sponsor or event sponsor, contact Trish at trish@theedventuresgroup.com. Your company can get a huge marketing and networking lift by giving women a place to meet on the soles of their feet.

Williams Club Reviews

The Williams Club is a fantastic venue to present any event. Along with my colleague, Wanda Mann and 40 amazing NY women, we enjoyed the ambiance and networking stage that was set for us by Lara and Steve. Thanks to you all. I so enjoyed presenting Networking is your Little Black Dress and the secrets to selling yourself in a NY MINUTE using the ATTENTION ECONOMY to your advantage! Don't forget to tuck our copy of Trish Rubin's New York MINUTE for Networking under your arm before you hit any room in NYC!

bath junkie "BEST of NY" and BEST FRIEND of Hardworking Networkers!

Networking can be a busy business...reward yourself after a hard day's connecting. bath junkie, the hip NYC flagship store according to NY Magazine and Zagats and Crains, can create a unique restorative bath, shower and body product to relax you! Scent your world with lavender, eucalyptus or blends of 200 in-store fragrances. The soapistas, Allie and Jessica, can help guide you in creating products to relax and rejuvenate at an affordable price... and you may even get a song thrown in as they create your unique fragrance. According to brand manager, Trish Rubin, in a recent issue of Crains, "Eight million people in NYC and YOU will have a unique scent! How's that for a memorable networking brand?!"

AND if that weren't enough, bath junkie has hosted 20 events in house, since opening a mere five months ago, for business networking and socializing under their white market umbrella. The wine flows, the connections bubble up, and the scent of success surrounds.

Call TRish Rubin: Brand Manager to schedule your event. 227 Mulberry Street/212 925 5857.

The economy Stinks BUT you don't have to!

Highlights from my Williams Club Speech May 19th
NETWORKING is Your Little Black Dress


It’s simple and elegant. It’s timeless and fits in anywhere. It’s recognized worldwide as a standard, and should be in any savvy business woman’s arsenal. Dress it up or down and use wear it to death.

I’m not talking about a fashion mainstay. I’m talking about a communication necessity: the power to connect with people and form profitable relationships-- networking.

You may have the Coco Chanel styled classic hanging in your closet. Most women own a little black dress. But to make powerful business presence, wardrobe isn’t enough. Outfit yourself in a networking style that suits you just as personally.The“LBD” style of networking may be the answer to your business success.

“LBD”, the little black dress of networking, can’t be borrowed from anyone. It must genuinely fit you. It is your attention getter that attracts potential clients and referrals. It is the compelling power you deserve at any age or career level. Networking in classic little black dress style, you’ll move confidently, developing business and client. You are the CDO, “Chief Designer Officer”, marketing with style that is totally original. As Henry Higgins displayed by elevating Eliza, communication skill and connection is absolutely teachable. So let’s get dressed, ladies, and get to the party.

Women network differently than men. How many men would take on the little black dress challenge? Well, a few. I live in NYC and understand anything is possible! But the majority of men fall into traditional patterns of networking. Men begin their networking lives connecting to business through sports, school ties, and beer buzzed happy hours. Some men advance beyond this basic level. Male networkers do write books and articles on the subject. Yet most men don’t read these since they are stuck in the same old fashion plate for making contacts used in their father’s day. Somebody needs to tell them those days are gone.

Research reports women build relationships differently from men. Females tend to work more deliberately socially and often invest in one contact at a time that connects them to others. Women, as science suggests, also possess superior peripheral vision. This asset serves them on their feet as they meet people. It’s a social sixth sense most women have as they take on the landscape of networking opportunity. Women tend to work from trust while men are driven to take power. So trust yourself. Use a little black dress style of meeting and connecting to new people for business result. You have tools for success. Just use the right couture pattern of communication.


If you think you can’t learn to be a better networker, think of Audrey Hepburn as Ms. Doolittle diligently perfecting the “Rain in Spain” through repetitive patterning and simple practice. Think of timeless Audrey as Holly Golightly, breezing out the door to her NYC apartment in her little black dress, taking the world on with a wink and a smile. It’s elegant and simple. Practice and a positive attitude will ACE your networking in style. Make networking of daily importance in your business life and social world. As your communication standard, a little black dress attitude for networking goes a long way.



ACE your Little Black Dress Style


Networking doesn’t have to be complex, like the staple in your wardrobe, keep it simple.. ACE your networking in little black dress style!

ACE is manageable framework for meeting people through direct tools and strategies of “Associating, Creating and Engaging”. These are elegant simple designer communication tenets you don every day with confidence. Like a Chanel statement, this framework helps you make lasting impressions on people. Those impressions grow through authentic personable contact that blooms into a genuine business connection.

Mutual benefit underlies this business development design. Benefit isn’t always a bottom line credit for you. Be disciplined. Think. With whom will you associate? Let people see the simple benefit you offer them as a genuine person. Even if a deal is not on the horizon immediately as you build your contacts,keep associating. The benefit of adding a layer to your social network can be as valuable as getting one great business deal. It’s like hanging another perfect strand of pearls around your neck. Marvelous effect. The social network may carry you forward farther if you continue to invest strategic time and effort in it, and you can do it in little black dress style with strategic repeated practice and positive outlook.

People need to meet people as they do business, so think simply and elegantly, and with confidence. Someone out there wants you! Get out of your cubicle or office and find the people who are looking for you. See yourself on a continual networking campaign that is light touch. Be the Holly Golightly of networking as you ACE your own network in little black dress Style.

The Attention Economy...ATTENTION JOB SEEKERS !

We are in the midst of a recession, but what we are experiencing in the downturn is actually an OVERLOAD. Anyone who is looking for work, can tell you that they are experiencing stress related to the amount of information, stimuli, and advice from others.

Here's a few thoughts to help the job seeking NETWORKING PROFESSIONALS, out there...Think about the ATTENTION ECONOMY you are in...The term dates back to the 1990's coined by economists. It's buzzing as a term today...in short, it refers to the inability of people to cut through the overwhelming amount of information coming at them through media, online and face to face communication. How to best get to the next sure thing??

Since my work touches coaching people as networking professionals, even if they are employed, I will borrow a page from the ad world...to come closer to making a yourself stand out in the swarm of downsized individuals use AIDA to combat being lost and overlooked in the networking crowd.
A means Attract, I means Interest, D means desire....and A means action! To get someone's attention...go from A to A..not A to Z...Attraction to to Action!

As a networker you can create this type of "brand" around you that you can strategically place with people,one on one...or in big rooms as you network.

To draw attention, cultivate yourself as special in the ATTENTION ECONOMY with my help, of course!

Casting a wide net.... Strategies for Innovating and MAintaining a Robust Client list

These posts are about THE FUNDAMENTALS...anyone who is accomplished in any field, golf, for example, has mastered the fundamentals and practiced over and over to perfection. The same goes when one works on communication skills... the training course is about fundamentals...then innovations that create the next great TIGER WOODS of Communiation...it could be you.


FIND THE CONNECTORS: PEOPLE WHO REFER TO BUSINESS

The objective is to continually mine resources and referrals who will act as worker bees for you building your network...there's the saying..."Make money while you sleep"...well, this is making contacts while you sleep....An example is when clients, friends or referrals of mine meet, let's say in an oversees airport...they are strangers to each other..and within minutes they connect because they know me...they are talking about me very positively a half of a twist away in an airport...and I am asleep while they are connecting....the result of that is the genuine perception that I know EVERYBODY!...well, that's an exaggeration, but it appears I do...one of my clients has called me..the VIT...Very Important TRISH....for that reason.

The work we are doing is Networking...you may think it's a 4 letter word...you don't like it. It is a four letter word...it translates to SALE. Now if you are uncomfortable with the salesperson image replace it with the sense of yourself as a POWERFUL MEGAWATT CONNECTOR..your image , your largess, your skill set will combine to make you a connected person...and people like that...Not a CELEBRITY...celebrities are only famous for their FAMOUS-NESS. You are not seeking Rock Stardom as a networker...you are a connector...part of a value chain that includes you and any other valuable people you connect with that create positive energy and business.

GET OUT OF THE OFFICE....
GET OFF THE PHONE...
GO FACE TO FACE.

Look for the Town Criers...the people who will talk about you.
Look at your clients...the corporations who you are billing a re full of people who need to be noticed....with the lightest touch, your doing that can get them talking about you...wherever they go.

become a matchmaker as part of your own connecting list grows...
Be selfless
It's about them...not you...yet!( time for that later)

Find the People who need People, and get linked in!


ESTABLISH A NEW SOCIAL BEHAVIOR THAT QUICKLY ADVANCES TRUST IN YOUR EXPERTISE

Think about awareness...train yourself to READ the ATMOSPHERE...this takes work and practice, not putting your headphones on or sticking your head into the WSJ..wherever you are be aware.

Become the CIO of yourself...the Chief Innovation Officer....take control of the perception people have of you...you have 9 sec to make a positive visual impression
The Rocket Science of presenting a look...create a standard...if it's not working, change...if it's dated, update. Look at the image you are conveying...then bring something new and fresh to it.

Look into Social Science...Read Goleman, read Media books about how image is created and take some of the tips on..study yourself as an action research project.

Be a student of Global Pop Culture...use the internet to create as much information about the world in your own mind that knowing even a word...like senpai (mentor) and using it in conversation makes you look aware of diverse topics...connected.

USE TECHNOLOGY TO BUILD RAPPORT with Clients

Technology is great for INFORMING and Confirming....powerful!Use it for factoid...but to develop networking skill use it as a bridge, glue to the face to face and personal touches..

Remember...One email done in haste can ruin an entire relationship...it is like skywriting...you never know who's going to see this.Techno dissonance

Balance the sources of e communication: Phone, texts, email, fax...ipod casting
Build groups as they do online within your own database and get them connected.

All of these can work for you, all of them have pitfalls as well as benefits to Communicating.

Know how to keep connected with brief but original language standards...find the signature communication style...what kills e communication..VAGUE ness It's a cost to productivity.

KEEP YOUR CLIENT BASE CONTENT AND CONNECTED

Use the FAce book model..but you create the group ideas to gather around.

Act as the CIO of your client base, thinking about how to innovate for clients to be reminded of you consistently

Brand yourself as the _____guy or woman...then create it in the image you acquire.

Share as many personal aspects as you are nearly comfortable wit...get a bit uncomfortable so that you push yourself to a new interpersonal level.

KNOW PEOPLE's NAmes....Identity TRIANGLES FOR ALL YOUR CLIENTS.( MAke a visual representation of all of them) Their NAme at Top... thier significant person...a significant business person...then USE it as you engage...NAMES KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY!

New Kid in Town

The song " New Kid in Town" by the Eagles features a line about talk on the street. Today the talk on the street and on the airwavs and on the internet is about the Massacre at Virginia Tech. After the first days of shock and horror have passed. new developments including the documentation of the crime by the shooter, have brought out a bevy of doctors, psychologists and specialists. speculation about Cho's mental health are unending.

But the idea of the New Kid in Town haunts me. It seems that the anger represented in the words and pictures left behind by the murderer points to a condition of isolation and alienation that is allowed to grow and fester until it becomes unstopable--resulting in heinous crimes of the nature we see this week. Newton's first law, an object in motion stays in motion...remains in play holds here. The motion, the unspeakable and unstopable activity of a new kid in town on the Virginia campus, seems to have been unchecked--only halfheartedly attended to, documented and studied with a casual nod to his uncertain mental condition. What about the systems for the new kid who comes to town, to the campus, to a new place to live. The kid who isn't making it, who is out of step...where are the tools, the processes that our campuses our communities need to provide in this current age of stress and depression that may help us see that the new kid in town is in trouble. The object in motion...the angry, the hate and distrust, grows, picking up momentum until it collides with other lives...forces in motion, and extinguishes these lives forever.

In the song, New Kid in Town....another telling line about "tears on your shoulder'...the image of those tears of family and friends for lives lost needs to inspire us to fix what is broken...where are the systems for saving the damged New Kids in Town?

The Power of a New York Smile

Trish Rubin’s New York MINUTE

I've invited my good friend and amazing speaker, Debra Moorhead to New York, but I have to warn her about costs.Another friend of mine recently moved here to the upper west side of New York City and remarked about the high cost of living. She laughed, observing that everything here in the greatest city in the world seems to be based in the number 25, not 23, as the new Jim Carry psychodrama movie suggests. Someone parks your car overnight in a midtown garage, someone washes your West side apartment windows, someone hands you a grocery bag with one or two items downtown, and, in some restaurants on the East side, someone hands you a hamburger, and you got it. It’s $25.00.That’s seems to be the baseline cost of factoring goodtime living in the great city of New York.

Having that good time in Manhattan, is a challenge if you want to break the 25 Rule. I’ve tried engaging all my senses in the cause. I’ve eyeballed the “Cheap Eats” issues of city magazines trying to find the bargains. I’ve eavesdropped on more than one R train conversation, about downtown sleeper sites, listening for low cost entertainment tips. Mostly it’s the younger city crowd that knows where to find the goodtime bargains. Sniffing out the spots that millennial and Gen Y ers know can get you far. These younger New York hipsters’ depth of wallet share as they crisscross the city may be thin, but, they know a good time on a dime when they see it. Yet persuading my newly arrived friend of the possibilities, reminds me that the hunt for feeling good at a good price in Manhattan can become a part-time job.

I’d rather invest my energy in something that costs nothing, but brings a feel good power to this city wherever you are. It’s a freebie you won’t find on Craig’s List. It’s the cost of a smile in your day.

I think of my daughter, Alexandra, a Gen Y-er herself. From infancy, she woke up with a smile on her face. Before her eyes opened, she grinned. Her behavior at age twenty is still the same as she opens her eyes to New York each day. She’s wired for smiles. Research would say she is unique among us in this town, since a lot of us here, tourists not included, wake each morning, not singing New York New York, but with the stressful, “Oh Gosh, it’s morning again,” feeling. Even before we even hit the pavement and have to deal with the press of the crowds and the jockeying for position at the curb or on the train platform, we get that Groundhog Day reminder, that wake up call to the brain that it’s show time. Actually, our bodies do us a big favor and release a chemical, about an hour before we rise, to safeguard us from the daily jolt of awakening.

But, once out on the street, accustomed to the routine of beginning our day in the noise and the hubbub of the morning commute , even the grumpiest, “coffee guzzliest” New Yorker” among us should be ready to use the low cost power of a smile to create a good feeling that money can’t buy. That power creates a buzz that charges the city day positively. Research says that people who smile, who laugh, and who purposefully think about getting others to do so, are happier and less stressed, and more productive. This is not rocket science, but it is science. It’s social and behavioral science. I’ve tried it myself many times throughout New York, Most recently on 43rd street. Smiling a construction worker resulted in an interesting quick conversation that schooled me in the history of the building he was working on that day. Yesterday, I used the power of a smile to exchange that “buzz “with the coat check attendant in an east side office building. He smiled broadly thanked me for taking time to actually find my coat check ticket. Do you know how many New Yorkers are too lazy to even look for a coat check ticket in this city? The scowls alone that come from that activity could cause a communication power drain. SO what about it? If you were to do a small, action research project here on the streets of New York testing the theory of a power of a smile it might look something like this. Give it try.

· Create your own version of Groundhog Day, the movie. Follow the same routine, the same path, the same behavior for two days as you head to work. BUT, don’t interact. No morning TV .On the street, don’t smile, don’t look directly at people, use your iPod, read your paper. Be wrapped up in you. Extend it into the first hour at the office. Be very self-centered. Loose your coat check ticket and don’t care. Do this for two days.
· On the third day, wake up and smile. Put on a funny TV or radio morning chat show, laugh. Practice smiling in the mirror as you shave or do your makeup. Then hit the street, no iPod, unless for a few minutes of great upbeat morning music to lighten your mood. Begin to make eye contact as you follow the same routine with people, doormen, vendors, policemen, babies and their nannies. Nod and smile. Go to work with a bag of pastries, visit people and say hello. Offer them a treat. Call people by their names. Make it a point to breathe and exhale deeply, and keep smiling.

Now reflect for a New York Minute on that third day. What’s been different? Aside from gaining a few carbs from the pastries, you-- and everyone around you-- gained because of your purposeful focus on the energy of a smile. You’ve created, as social scientists say, a brain to brain bridge with people through your bridge of smiles. They’ve returned you the favor with their own energy, and make no mistake about it, it fuels you. Years ago Tom Peters revolutionized the business world with his organizational call to action, “MBWA”, Management by Walking Around. Today create a simple and powerful change in your business and personal life. Do it here in this city that is becoming more known for its hospitality than ever before. It’s a reason why people like my friend are choosing to come back to live in cities. Be a one person New York Good Will Ambassador. You can control how people view you, by “SAWA”, Smiling and Walking Around.

This past week, my dentist, the man I am trusting my smile to, and someone who believes in the power of a smile as he approaches dentistry, gave me a favorite book of his written by another New York patient. The book is, The Power of NICE, How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness. ( Linda Kaplan and Robin Koval ) The authors talk about the need to be genuine, not to be seen as calculating when you are projecting positive energy. Think of the power of smiling in that way. It’s got to be real and not forced, so practice in your day with safe smiles…doormen, policemen, bus drivers, shop clerks and tourists are great for smile work. You’ll know you are there in your New York smile when you grin at a child and they quickly smile back at you. Kids can tell the difference at a very early age between someone who is genuine and someone who is faking it.

Experiment and practice. And with the twenty-five dollars you save daily from this no cost approach to life, you can splurge. Forget the cheap eats for a day and invest in a hamburger with a friend at one of our many trendy New York places-- and smile as you pay the tab. You’ll create positive energy in Manhattan, attract good vibes, and maybe even welcome your morning wake up call the next day.

The Language of the Eyes

The Language of the Eyes

Like most Americans, I speak English exclusively. I studied French eagerly for years. Unfortunately, my school’s methods taught me into confused silence. Learning language was simply not fun or connected to my desire to using language fluidly. It was drill and kill.

Today, I am a mature woman possessing a nursery school level of French language skill. Oui…un petite peu…tres, tres petite. In a meeting last week with a native French speaker, I was able to awkwardly ask for the salt in French. Pitiful. I have not even mastered Restaurant French 101. C’est domage.

Recently, I’ve tried to learn Japanese. On my own, no formal instruction. I’m trying a new tactic, “Learn to Speak Japanese in your Car” is a new purchase to support my thirst for learning language. Ironically, I have no car! I live in the city, so my Japanese practice is left to…”matane”, meaning “later” as the Japanese say. So when I rent a car, I can practice “deska”-ing… driving the Jersey Turnpike.

I want to have some facility with language as I travel to make connections with people so my cultural currency can rise. I want to be seen as genuine. But, I haven’t got time to invest in learning words .I think it best that I abandon speaking and focus on learning another universal language, the Language of the Eyes.

Research supports this notion of the Language of the Eyes, and our human need to look. Without skill at knowing a language, a few well placed sincerely connected phrases and very sure eye work can advance you in business or travel situations. And these tools can be useful at home and on the job in your own backyard. Drawing on the fact that 80% of our brains are wired to be social, and that poets for years have celebrated the eyes as the windows of the soul, why not blend the world of science and art and school yourself? You’ll create a more connected, personable and confident presence in any room around the world.

I test this theory as I travel in Europe and Asia and have gotten great feedback. So strong, in fact, that I devote a lot of time to Eye Work in my book on Networking, “Trish Rubin’s New York MINUTE guide to Event Networking”. It seems people, especially young people who spend 18,000 hours in front of TV and computer screens before they graduate from college, need to learn the tools of basic social communication like eye work, tools once taught by mature family members to the young.

ESSENTIAL SKILL Using your eyes is a skill and the tools of GAZING are necessary. There is a difference in using your eyes to survey a room as opposed to making direct eye contact. This skill can be taught to the point where it becomes a natural trait, and one that you can tailor depending on the situation. A conference table meeting, a big event, a one on one interview all require different types of eye work. This can be taught, especially if you are feeling less than confident about speaking the Language of the Eyes.

TAKE THE PLUNGE If you are the person who’s always staring at your shoes, or worse creating hyperactivity with a roving eye that can’t be settled practicing each day with yourself, in the mirror, or on the street can help. Also, making direct eye contact with doormen as you stroll, or greeting people with your eyes ,people in your building aboard an elevator for instance, is a safe way to push yourself to making and briefly holding eye contact. Learning to do this helps prepare you for when it counts, on the job or in your personal life with those you want to make a deep impression upon. And it doesn’t matter if you enter a room where people do not speak your language. A welcoming, friendly eye gaze can begin to draw people to you. With a few genuine phrases in the language of the culture, you will find yourself more connected and confident than you’d be glaring into a guidebook for the right translation.

Truly, in today’s techno charged world, face to face is still important. Making connections with friends online in social networks is one skill, but the real challenge of holding attention of another person is done not at a computer, it’s done in real time. In any language, the “Eyes have it”, as the saying goes. If yours, don’t, you could be missing out on the most powerful part of face to face communication. It’s worth looking into.