The song " New Kid in Town" by the Eagles features a line about talk on the street. Today the talk on the street and on the airwavs and on the internet is about the Massacre at Virginia Tech. After the first days of shock and horror have passed. new developments including the documentation of the crime by the shooter, have brought out a bevy of doctors, psychologists and specialists. speculation about Cho's mental health are unending.
But the idea of the New Kid in Town haunts me. It seems that the anger represented in the words and pictures left behind by the murderer points to a condition of isolation and alienation that is allowed to grow and fester until it becomes unstopable--resulting in heinous crimes of the nature we see this week. Newton's first law, an object in motion stays in motion...remains in play holds here. The motion, the unspeakable and unstopable activity of a new kid in town on the Virginia campus, seems to have been unchecked--only halfheartedly attended to, documented and studied with a casual nod to his uncertain mental condition. What about the systems for the new kid who comes to town, to the campus, to a new place to live. The kid who isn't making it, who is out of step...where are the tools, the processes that our campuses our communities need to provide in this current age of stress and depression that may help us see that the new kid in town is in trouble. The object in motion...the angry, the hate and distrust, grows, picking up momentum until it collides with other lives...forces in motion, and extinguishes these lives forever.
In the song, New Kid in Town....another telling line about "tears on your shoulder'...the image of those tears of family and friends for lives lost needs to inspire us to fix what is broken...where are the systems for saving the damged New Kids in Town?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The Power of a New York Smile
Trish Rubin’s New York MINUTE
I've invited my good friend and amazing speaker, Debra Moorhead to New York, but I have to warn her about costs.Another friend of mine recently moved here to the upper west side of New York City and remarked about the high cost of living. She laughed, observing that everything here in the greatest city in the world seems to be based in the number 25, not 23, as the new Jim Carry psychodrama movie suggests. Someone parks your car overnight in a midtown garage, someone washes your West side apartment windows, someone hands you a grocery bag with one or two items downtown, and, in some restaurants on the East side, someone hands you a hamburger, and you got it. It’s $25.00.That’s seems to be the baseline cost of factoring goodtime living in the great city of New York.
Having that good time in Manhattan, is a challenge if you want to break the 25 Rule. I’ve tried engaging all my senses in the cause. I’ve eyeballed the “Cheap Eats” issues of city magazines trying to find the bargains. I’ve eavesdropped on more than one R train conversation, about downtown sleeper sites, listening for low cost entertainment tips. Mostly it’s the younger city crowd that knows where to find the goodtime bargains. Sniffing out the spots that millennial and Gen Y ers know can get you far. These younger New York hipsters’ depth of wallet share as they crisscross the city may be thin, but, they know a good time on a dime when they see it. Yet persuading my newly arrived friend of the possibilities, reminds me that the hunt for feeling good at a good price in Manhattan can become a part-time job.
I’d rather invest my energy in something that costs nothing, but brings a feel good power to this city wherever you are. It’s a freebie you won’t find on Craig’s List. It’s the cost of a smile in your day.
I think of my daughter, Alexandra, a Gen Y-er herself. From infancy, she woke up with a smile on her face. Before her eyes opened, she grinned. Her behavior at age twenty is still the same as she opens her eyes to New York each day. She’s wired for smiles. Research would say she is unique among us in this town, since a lot of us here, tourists not included, wake each morning, not singing New York New York, but with the stressful, “Oh Gosh, it’s morning again,” feeling. Even before we even hit the pavement and have to deal with the press of the crowds and the jockeying for position at the curb or on the train platform, we get that Groundhog Day reminder, that wake up call to the brain that it’s show time. Actually, our bodies do us a big favor and release a chemical, about an hour before we rise, to safeguard us from the daily jolt of awakening.
But, once out on the street, accustomed to the routine of beginning our day in the noise and the hubbub of the morning commute , even the grumpiest, “coffee guzzliest” New Yorker” among us should be ready to use the low cost power of a smile to create a good feeling that money can’t buy. That power creates a buzz that charges the city day positively. Research says that people who smile, who laugh, and who purposefully think about getting others to do so, are happier and less stressed, and more productive. This is not rocket science, but it is science. It’s social and behavioral science. I’ve tried it myself many times throughout New York, Most recently on 43rd street. Smiling a construction worker resulted in an interesting quick conversation that schooled me in the history of the building he was working on that day. Yesterday, I used the power of a smile to exchange that “buzz “with the coat check attendant in an east side office building. He smiled broadly thanked me for taking time to actually find my coat check ticket. Do you know how many New Yorkers are too lazy to even look for a coat check ticket in this city? The scowls alone that come from that activity could cause a communication power drain. SO what about it? If you were to do a small, action research project here on the streets of New York testing the theory of a power of a smile it might look something like this. Give it try.
· Create your own version of Groundhog Day, the movie. Follow the same routine, the same path, the same behavior for two days as you head to work. BUT, don’t interact. No morning TV .On the street, don’t smile, don’t look directly at people, use your iPod, read your paper. Be wrapped up in you. Extend it into the first hour at the office. Be very self-centered. Loose your coat check ticket and don’t care. Do this for two days.
· On the third day, wake up and smile. Put on a funny TV or radio morning chat show, laugh. Practice smiling in the mirror as you shave or do your makeup. Then hit the street, no iPod, unless for a few minutes of great upbeat morning music to lighten your mood. Begin to make eye contact as you follow the same routine with people, doormen, vendors, policemen, babies and their nannies. Nod and smile. Go to work with a bag of pastries, visit people and say hello. Offer them a treat. Call people by their names. Make it a point to breathe and exhale deeply, and keep smiling.
Now reflect for a New York Minute on that third day. What’s been different? Aside from gaining a few carbs from the pastries, you-- and everyone around you-- gained because of your purposeful focus on the energy of a smile. You’ve created, as social scientists say, a brain to brain bridge with people through your bridge of smiles. They’ve returned you the favor with their own energy, and make no mistake about it, it fuels you. Years ago Tom Peters revolutionized the business world with his organizational call to action, “MBWA”, Management by Walking Around. Today create a simple and powerful change in your business and personal life. Do it here in this city that is becoming more known for its hospitality than ever before. It’s a reason why people like my friend are choosing to come back to live in cities. Be a one person New York Good Will Ambassador. You can control how people view you, by “SAWA”, Smiling and Walking Around.
This past week, my dentist, the man I am trusting my smile to, and someone who believes in the power of a smile as he approaches dentistry, gave me a favorite book of his written by another New York patient. The book is, The Power of NICE, How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness. ( Linda Kaplan and Robin Koval ) The authors talk about the need to be genuine, not to be seen as calculating when you are projecting positive energy. Think of the power of smiling in that way. It’s got to be real and not forced, so practice in your day with safe smiles…doormen, policemen, bus drivers, shop clerks and tourists are great for smile work. You’ll know you are there in your New York smile when you grin at a child and they quickly smile back at you. Kids can tell the difference at a very early age between someone who is genuine and someone who is faking it.
Experiment and practice. And with the twenty-five dollars you save daily from this no cost approach to life, you can splurge. Forget the cheap eats for a day and invest in a hamburger with a friend at one of our many trendy New York places-- and smile as you pay the tab. You’ll create positive energy in Manhattan, attract good vibes, and maybe even welcome your morning wake up call the next day.
I've invited my good friend and amazing speaker, Debra Moorhead to New York, but I have to warn her about costs.Another friend of mine recently moved here to the upper west side of New York City and remarked about the high cost of living. She laughed, observing that everything here in the greatest city in the world seems to be based in the number 25, not 23, as the new Jim Carry psychodrama movie suggests. Someone parks your car overnight in a midtown garage, someone washes your West side apartment windows, someone hands you a grocery bag with one or two items downtown, and, in some restaurants on the East side, someone hands you a hamburger, and you got it. It’s $25.00.That’s seems to be the baseline cost of factoring goodtime living in the great city of New York.
Having that good time in Manhattan, is a challenge if you want to break the 25 Rule. I’ve tried engaging all my senses in the cause. I’ve eyeballed the “Cheap Eats” issues of city magazines trying to find the bargains. I’ve eavesdropped on more than one R train conversation, about downtown sleeper sites, listening for low cost entertainment tips. Mostly it’s the younger city crowd that knows where to find the goodtime bargains. Sniffing out the spots that millennial and Gen Y ers know can get you far. These younger New York hipsters’ depth of wallet share as they crisscross the city may be thin, but, they know a good time on a dime when they see it. Yet persuading my newly arrived friend of the possibilities, reminds me that the hunt for feeling good at a good price in Manhattan can become a part-time job.
I’d rather invest my energy in something that costs nothing, but brings a feel good power to this city wherever you are. It’s a freebie you won’t find on Craig’s List. It’s the cost of a smile in your day.
I think of my daughter, Alexandra, a Gen Y-er herself. From infancy, she woke up with a smile on her face. Before her eyes opened, she grinned. Her behavior at age twenty is still the same as she opens her eyes to New York each day. She’s wired for smiles. Research would say she is unique among us in this town, since a lot of us here, tourists not included, wake each morning, not singing New York New York, but with the stressful, “Oh Gosh, it’s morning again,” feeling. Even before we even hit the pavement and have to deal with the press of the crowds and the jockeying for position at the curb or on the train platform, we get that Groundhog Day reminder, that wake up call to the brain that it’s show time. Actually, our bodies do us a big favor and release a chemical, about an hour before we rise, to safeguard us from the daily jolt of awakening.
But, once out on the street, accustomed to the routine of beginning our day in the noise and the hubbub of the morning commute , even the grumpiest, “coffee guzzliest” New Yorker” among us should be ready to use the low cost power of a smile to create a good feeling that money can’t buy. That power creates a buzz that charges the city day positively. Research says that people who smile, who laugh, and who purposefully think about getting others to do so, are happier and less stressed, and more productive. This is not rocket science, but it is science. It’s social and behavioral science. I’ve tried it myself many times throughout New York, Most recently on 43rd street. Smiling a construction worker resulted in an interesting quick conversation that schooled me in the history of the building he was working on that day. Yesterday, I used the power of a smile to exchange that “buzz “with the coat check attendant in an east side office building. He smiled broadly thanked me for taking time to actually find my coat check ticket. Do you know how many New Yorkers are too lazy to even look for a coat check ticket in this city? The scowls alone that come from that activity could cause a communication power drain. SO what about it? If you were to do a small, action research project here on the streets of New York testing the theory of a power of a smile it might look something like this. Give it try.
· Create your own version of Groundhog Day, the movie. Follow the same routine, the same path, the same behavior for two days as you head to work. BUT, don’t interact. No morning TV .On the street, don’t smile, don’t look directly at people, use your iPod, read your paper. Be wrapped up in you. Extend it into the first hour at the office. Be very self-centered. Loose your coat check ticket and don’t care. Do this for two days.
· On the third day, wake up and smile. Put on a funny TV or radio morning chat show, laugh. Practice smiling in the mirror as you shave or do your makeup. Then hit the street, no iPod, unless for a few minutes of great upbeat morning music to lighten your mood. Begin to make eye contact as you follow the same routine with people, doormen, vendors, policemen, babies and their nannies. Nod and smile. Go to work with a bag of pastries, visit people and say hello. Offer them a treat. Call people by their names. Make it a point to breathe and exhale deeply, and keep smiling.
Now reflect for a New York Minute on that third day. What’s been different? Aside from gaining a few carbs from the pastries, you-- and everyone around you-- gained because of your purposeful focus on the energy of a smile. You’ve created, as social scientists say, a brain to brain bridge with people through your bridge of smiles. They’ve returned you the favor with their own energy, and make no mistake about it, it fuels you. Years ago Tom Peters revolutionized the business world with his organizational call to action, “MBWA”, Management by Walking Around. Today create a simple and powerful change in your business and personal life. Do it here in this city that is becoming more known for its hospitality than ever before. It’s a reason why people like my friend are choosing to come back to live in cities. Be a one person New York Good Will Ambassador. You can control how people view you, by “SAWA”, Smiling and Walking Around.
This past week, my dentist, the man I am trusting my smile to, and someone who believes in the power of a smile as he approaches dentistry, gave me a favorite book of his written by another New York patient. The book is, The Power of NICE, How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness. ( Linda Kaplan and Robin Koval ) The authors talk about the need to be genuine, not to be seen as calculating when you are projecting positive energy. Think of the power of smiling in that way. It’s got to be real and not forced, so practice in your day with safe smiles…doormen, policemen, bus drivers, shop clerks and tourists are great for smile work. You’ll know you are there in your New York smile when you grin at a child and they quickly smile back at you. Kids can tell the difference at a very early age between someone who is genuine and someone who is faking it.
Experiment and practice. And with the twenty-five dollars you save daily from this no cost approach to life, you can splurge. Forget the cheap eats for a day and invest in a hamburger with a friend at one of our many trendy New York places-- and smile as you pay the tab. You’ll create positive energy in Manhattan, attract good vibes, and maybe even welcome your morning wake up call the next day.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Language of the Eyes
The Language of the Eyes
Like most Americans, I speak English exclusively. I studied French eagerly for years. Unfortunately, my school’s methods taught me into confused silence. Learning language was simply not fun or connected to my desire to using language fluidly. It was drill and kill.
Today, I am a mature woman possessing a nursery school level of French language skill. Oui…un petite peu…tres, tres petite. In a meeting last week with a native French speaker, I was able to awkwardly ask for the salt in French. Pitiful. I have not even mastered Restaurant French 101. C’est domage.
Recently, I’ve tried to learn Japanese. On my own, no formal instruction. I’m trying a new tactic, “Learn to Speak Japanese in your Car” is a new purchase to support my thirst for learning language. Ironically, I have no car! I live in the city, so my Japanese practice is left to…”matane”, meaning “later” as the Japanese say. So when I rent a car, I can practice “deska”-ing… driving the Jersey Turnpike.
I want to have some facility with language as I travel to make connections with people so my cultural currency can rise. I want to be seen as genuine. But, I haven’t got time to invest in learning words .I think it best that I abandon speaking and focus on learning another universal language, the Language of the Eyes.
Research supports this notion of the Language of the Eyes, and our human need to look. Without skill at knowing a language, a few well placed sincerely connected phrases and very sure eye work can advance you in business or travel situations. And these tools can be useful at home and on the job in your own backyard. Drawing on the fact that 80% of our brains are wired to be social, and that poets for years have celebrated the eyes as the windows of the soul, why not blend the world of science and art and school yourself? You’ll create a more connected, personable and confident presence in any room around the world.
I test this theory as I travel in Europe and Asia and have gotten great feedback. So strong, in fact, that I devote a lot of time to Eye Work in my book on Networking, “Trish Rubin’s New York MINUTE guide to Event Networking”. It seems people, especially young people who spend 18,000 hours in front of TV and computer screens before they graduate from college, need to learn the tools of basic social communication like eye work, tools once taught by mature family members to the young.
ESSENTIAL SKILL Using your eyes is a skill and the tools of GAZING are necessary. There is a difference in using your eyes to survey a room as opposed to making direct eye contact. This skill can be taught to the point where it becomes a natural trait, and one that you can tailor depending on the situation. A conference table meeting, a big event, a one on one interview all require different types of eye work. This can be taught, especially if you are feeling less than confident about speaking the Language of the Eyes.
TAKE THE PLUNGE If you are the person who’s always staring at your shoes, or worse creating hyperactivity with a roving eye that can’t be settled practicing each day with yourself, in the mirror, or on the street can help. Also, making direct eye contact with doormen as you stroll, or greeting people with your eyes ,people in your building aboard an elevator for instance, is a safe way to push yourself to making and briefly holding eye contact. Learning to do this helps prepare you for when it counts, on the job or in your personal life with those you want to make a deep impression upon. And it doesn’t matter if you enter a room where people do not speak your language. A welcoming, friendly eye gaze can begin to draw people to you. With a few genuine phrases in the language of the culture, you will find yourself more connected and confident than you’d be glaring into a guidebook for the right translation.
Truly, in today’s techno charged world, face to face is still important. Making connections with friends online in social networks is one skill, but the real challenge of holding attention of another person is done not at a computer, it’s done in real time. In any language, the “Eyes have it”, as the saying goes. If yours, don’t, you could be missing out on the most powerful part of face to face communication. It’s worth looking into.
Like most Americans, I speak English exclusively. I studied French eagerly for years. Unfortunately, my school’s methods taught me into confused silence. Learning language was simply not fun or connected to my desire to using language fluidly. It was drill and kill.
Today, I am a mature woman possessing a nursery school level of French language skill. Oui…un petite peu…tres, tres petite. In a meeting last week with a native French speaker, I was able to awkwardly ask for the salt in French. Pitiful. I have not even mastered Restaurant French 101. C’est domage.
Recently, I’ve tried to learn Japanese. On my own, no formal instruction. I’m trying a new tactic, “Learn to Speak Japanese in your Car” is a new purchase to support my thirst for learning language. Ironically, I have no car! I live in the city, so my Japanese practice is left to…”matane”, meaning “later” as the Japanese say. So when I rent a car, I can practice “deska”-ing… driving the Jersey Turnpike.
I want to have some facility with language as I travel to make connections with people so my cultural currency can rise. I want to be seen as genuine. But, I haven’t got time to invest in learning words .I think it best that I abandon speaking and focus on learning another universal language, the Language of the Eyes.
Research supports this notion of the Language of the Eyes, and our human need to look. Without skill at knowing a language, a few well placed sincerely connected phrases and very sure eye work can advance you in business or travel situations. And these tools can be useful at home and on the job in your own backyard. Drawing on the fact that 80% of our brains are wired to be social, and that poets for years have celebrated the eyes as the windows of the soul, why not blend the world of science and art and school yourself? You’ll create a more connected, personable and confident presence in any room around the world.
I test this theory as I travel in Europe and Asia and have gotten great feedback. So strong, in fact, that I devote a lot of time to Eye Work in my book on Networking, “Trish Rubin’s New York MINUTE guide to Event Networking”. It seems people, especially young people who spend 18,000 hours in front of TV and computer screens before they graduate from college, need to learn the tools of basic social communication like eye work, tools once taught by mature family members to the young.
ESSENTIAL SKILL Using your eyes is a skill and the tools of GAZING are necessary. There is a difference in using your eyes to survey a room as opposed to making direct eye contact. This skill can be taught to the point where it becomes a natural trait, and one that you can tailor depending on the situation. A conference table meeting, a big event, a one on one interview all require different types of eye work. This can be taught, especially if you are feeling less than confident about speaking the Language of the Eyes.
TAKE THE PLUNGE If you are the person who’s always staring at your shoes, or worse creating hyperactivity with a roving eye that can’t be settled practicing each day with yourself, in the mirror, or on the street can help. Also, making direct eye contact with doormen as you stroll, or greeting people with your eyes ,people in your building aboard an elevator for instance, is a safe way to push yourself to making and briefly holding eye contact. Learning to do this helps prepare you for when it counts, on the job or in your personal life with those you want to make a deep impression upon. And it doesn’t matter if you enter a room where people do not speak your language. A welcoming, friendly eye gaze can begin to draw people to you. With a few genuine phrases in the language of the culture, you will find yourself more connected and confident than you’d be glaring into a guidebook for the right translation.
Truly, in today’s techno charged world, face to face is still important. Making connections with friends online in social networks is one skill, but the real challenge of holding attention of another person is done not at a computer, it’s done in real time. In any language, the “Eyes have it”, as the saying goes. If yours, don’t, you could be missing out on the most powerful part of face to face communication. It’s worth looking into.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
United Nations Appearance: Unfinished Business for NGO's
Trish Rubin, President of The EdVentures Group, addressed members of NGO's in a two day Seminar at the 59th Annual DPI/NGO conference at The United Nations on September 6th and 7th.
The issues addressed in the seminar were focused upon the topic of Networking in a global sense. The topics of Ms. Rubin's speech were focused on creating effective partnerships.
The conversations sddressed:
How to identify people who have similar goals
How to share an organization's vision.
How to discuss best practices for networking
How to gain trust and respect through networking
How to advance the MDG's through networking
For additional information, please contact the EdVentures Group
The issues addressed in the seminar were focused upon the topic of Networking in a global sense. The topics of Ms. Rubin's speech were focused on creating effective partnerships.
The conversations sddressed:
How to identify people who have similar goals
How to share an organization's vision.
How to discuss best practices for networking
How to gain trust and respect through networking
How to advance the MDG's through networking
For additional information, please contact the EdVentures Group
Monday, August 07, 2006
Using EYE WORK as YOU NETWORK in Business
When I came to New York City last year I stood in this great city,and complained! No one knew my name but my doorman!Things needed to changefor business success and they did. Because I learned the secret to success in a New York MINIT…and that’s being skilled in Relational Communications! It's now my business, Knowing how to help people and organizations connect interpersonally for business is what I do across the city, the country and the world…and now people know know my name!
I want to share one tool in my Relational Communications Toolbox with you. It's the tool that I have used repeatly in making connections…It’s the virtual hammer of connectivity …the tool that is primary for developing business connectivity. It’s what speakers know is a valuable part of connection…It’s eye contact.
And in the Tool box of the NY MINIT, my framework for business connectivity…we get our Interconnectivity from the Hammer…our Eyes…I use this hammer because it is the attention getter in the tool box…BAM!...Notice me…...Bam!…Work with me…Bam…I am interested in you..Bam…I want to hear more…
Your eyes speak in network---ese . With your eyes you will network to get work!
So let me introduce two important tenets for you to think about using your eyes when you are in a networking situation…that is when you are in a large room making small talk that you want to lead to Big work!
And let’s leave the phrase Eye Contact and step it up a bit..this is EYE WORK:Flexibilty of Eye Work! Relational Eye Work!
We all need to change gears when using our eyes…In these big networking rooms are men and women of different cultures ages…You have to change hats as you network! A Yankee "hat", if you will,making eyecontact with a man. A Strong handshake…eyes strong and steady.
You change hats making eye contact with a woman..turn it around…eyes direc,yet a bit softer for me. And single handed handshake. Not too tight!.You don’t want to negate the importance changing gears and hats…if you wander around looking like this…you are looking …using your eyes…not to your advantage.
Tenet 2… Relational eye contact. As you hold a conversation you may have to balance listening and eye use…You are receiving a message when you hold eye contact…you hope to match with your chat partner so that you can quickly gain their trust…
Again..we’ll go with men vs. woman…Let's imagine making eye contact at an EVENT with Einstien…intense rapt with attention…then change gears,making contact with Jerry Seinfeld! Heightened ready for anything…making contact with James Dean…Ready for another kind of anything…!!! You have to change hats...So Practice… Use the mirror…bring a mirror before you network…use inanimate objects…use your significant other…in some homes…that can be an inanimate object!…Pets…Use pets like your dog …Perfect!
So having Flexibilty and Relational skills can help make your phone ring… Like this!
Imagine. You Could end with the Brad Pitt on the line...It would go like this...… "Brad ? Yes, I told you not to call me at work…Yes, I’d love to lay my eyes on you…tonight? Umm Brad…is Angleina at home? If she is.. Fuggetabout it!"
So this NY MINIT of Relational Communication has created one picky woman in NYC…why not you?
I want to share one tool in my Relational Communications Toolbox with you. It's the tool that I have used repeatly in making connections…It’s the virtual hammer of connectivity …the tool that is primary for developing business connectivity. It’s what speakers know is a valuable part of connection…It’s eye contact.
And in the Tool box of the NY MINIT, my framework for business connectivity…we get our Interconnectivity from the Hammer…our Eyes…I use this hammer because it is the attention getter in the tool box…BAM!...Notice me…...Bam!…Work with me…Bam…I am interested in you..Bam…I want to hear more…
Your eyes speak in network---ese . With your eyes you will network to get work!
So let me introduce two important tenets for you to think about using your eyes when you are in a networking situation…that is when you are in a large room making small talk that you want to lead to Big work!
And let’s leave the phrase Eye Contact and step it up a bit..this is EYE WORK:Flexibilty of Eye Work! Relational Eye Work!
We all need to change gears when using our eyes…In these big networking rooms are men and women of different cultures ages…You have to change hats as you network! A Yankee "hat", if you will,making eyecontact with a man. A Strong handshake…eyes strong and steady.
You change hats making eye contact with a woman..turn it around…eyes direc,yet a bit softer for me. And single handed handshake. Not too tight!.You don’t want to negate the importance changing gears and hats…if you wander around looking like this…you are looking …using your eyes…not to your advantage.
Tenet 2… Relational eye contact. As you hold a conversation you may have to balance listening and eye use…You are receiving a message when you hold eye contact…you hope to match with your chat partner so that you can quickly gain their trust…
Again..we’ll go with men vs. woman…Let's imagine making eye contact at an EVENT with Einstien…intense rapt with attention…then change gears,making contact with Jerry Seinfeld! Heightened ready for anything…making contact with James Dean…Ready for another kind of anything…!!! You have to change hats...So Practice… Use the mirror…bring a mirror before you network…use inanimate objects…use your significant other…in some homes…that can be an inanimate object!…Pets…Use pets like your dog …Perfect!
So having Flexibilty and Relational skills can help make your phone ring… Like this!
Imagine. You Could end with the Brad Pitt on the line...It would go like this...… "Brad ? Yes, I told you not to call me at work…Yes, I’d love to lay my eyes on you…tonight? Umm Brad…is Angleina at home? If she is.. Fuggetabout it!"
So this NY MINIT of Relational Communication has created one picky woman in NYC…why not you?
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Improving Business Writing in a New York MINIT
Improving Business Writing in a New York MINIT: 5 Steps to Better Communication!
Trish Rubin M.Ed, MGA
The EdVentures Group Consulting
You know the feeling?
You’ve dodged the writing bullet for days...
It’s time to hit that send button and share your words of wisdom. Your supervisor or your client is waiting. And you’ve got nada, nothing except a blank screen and a deadline. What’s worse is you’re having flashbacks to college. It’s the night before a term paper is due and you have zip to show! Instinctively, you reach for that old familiar standby…Cliff Notes! Yes, Cliff Notes got you through English class!
But, there’s no Cliff Notes for weekly summaries, reports, evaluations, or RFP, s! And, no amount of excuses, coffee or Red Bull will help you now. But a tight plan that saves you from being a master of disaster when it comes to business writing can save the day, and those sleepless nights that proceed the deadline day!
You are not alone. These anxious writing moments are suffered in offices across the world. They create enough job stress to collectively power a small city. And they shake even the most confident business person throughout the organization, from the mail room to the board room.
Writing skill matters in business. You may be the Face to Face deal closer extraordinaire or the networking legend in your workplace, but your balance sheet is out of whack if you can’t talk the talk in writing. Today’s complete business person balances oral and written skill. Confident writers know the power of INKING THEIR THINKING, and they use it to advance in their career.
Facing your writing demons means growing up. You’ve got to get rid of the negative image being a poor writer. More than likely, it’s a view left over from inadequate high school or college classes. Sometimes it’s the result of no real experience as a writer. Can you imagine hitting a 67 on the Golf course each Saturday without constant practice and instruction? Well, writing, like golfing is based on muscle memory. The more you think and write, the more you imprint the process through application, the easier it is to write. Avoidance is the killer, and those deadlines keep coming. Think what it would feel like to be a confident wordsmith. You can be, and you can do it quickly…using the New York MINIT process as your model.
The New York MINIT writing framework reflects the urgent pace of a New York minute when things get done in a flash. After years of writing neglect, you need to get capable on the job, fast. And the New York MINIT framework let’s you develop a quick, clean process. You can internalize the MINIT system and use it easily, days before your writing is due for deadline. You’ll confidently meet a deadline. And, with practice, you’ll learn to write quickly, perhaps even in a few short minutes as you move from one meeting to the next during a busy day! So whether you are in Des Moines or Chicago, or Manhattan or Memphis, you can use the New York MINIT framework to quickly and clearly process your thoughts into written products. You’ll soon create written business documents that get attention and praise from your readers in a New York minute!
The NEW YORK MINIT
Writing is a process. Good writers move their thinking forward from envisioning an idea to presentation of a final product. These 5 Steps in using the New York MINIT for Business Writing Success will help you do the same. They are sequential. Depending on your skill, you may become stuck in the early stages. If you run dry, return, as you should, to step one….being stuck is a sure sign that your writing idea is too broad. By starting over, you can narrow and define your thinking.
Step One: M means…. Make time to “Prewrite”!
• Think and draft your writing WITHOUT Writing: Allow yourself to “dream” it, massage your thinking, and let your mind go. Good writers do a lot of “Prewriting” before they actually put pen to paper! This could take hours or a few days, but it is MOST important. Prewriting is done without paper.
• Think about your audience: Who will read this? Put yourself in his or her shoes as you pre-write. Think from the client’s point of view. What do they WANT to know? If it’s not clear. Get on the phone and ask!!
Step Two: I means… Incorporate “Feedback Lines”!
• Find a writing buddy: Use someone not related to you who can talk to you about your prewriting thoughts in a quick conference. Tell the partner you want them to listen for small details of what you’ve thought about. This should take five minutes! It is not a critique, it’s a coaching session. Your partner listens and does not control the talk. You should be doing the talking. You are trying to narrow your broad thinking.
• Note to Self: Use post-its, use tape recorder, one scrap of paper or your blog. Start to write your idea. For a sustained period of time of at least 15 minutes.
• Put the Editing Police on Notice! DO not stop to look at individual words as you get your ideas down….DO NOT edit yourself at this point. It is too early in the process. Research shows this is the time when people give up. It is not the time to nitpick over word, phrases or spelling. You want to make meaning. Give yourself permission to write a little garbage if you have to. Don’t get stuck here. Write freely! It’s for your eyes only.
• Take Inventory: Look at what you have written and circle the main points. Do they seem to be tied to a small enough idea? The mistake writers make is they take on too much and overwhelm themselves and the reader. You may have a template you use for a weekly report which should tighten your direction. If you have no template, remember less is often more. If you have the best points on the paper, you won’t need to be a Ramblin’ Man or Woman when you write the draft!
• Outline Away! Use whatever means works to create a quick outline. Use traditional Roman numerals, use bullets, use post it’s. Use what fits as you order your thinking.
Step Three: N means….Now Write!
• Write your draft! and begin with one or two sentences that you use a formula over and over. Write an opener that you can tailor later just to get you started. Then write past this opener. You can always go back and revise it. Treat it as your running start from the high diving board. You might need it the first time you write, but chances are you will cut it in the final version.
• Don’t look at your first free-writing! Just keep your points in mind and begin fresh. Looking to the free-writing may cause you to become unfocused. You want your ideas to flow and new stronger thoughts to bubble up.
• Think simple! You are building a simple house of text! You need a front door, a kitchen a living room and a bedroom and a back door. Walk your reader through the house! It’s five rooms…Front door is the opener or Intro, the three rooms are main phases, points, articles, or benchmarks, depending on the writing task. Your closing is the back porch. Remember, keep it tight. No need to build a mansion!
.
Step Four: I means… Invest in Voice!
• Make your draft live: Use a few writer’s age old tricks:
1. Take out your wordy adjectives and long phrases.
2. Vary the length of your sentences: short-short- long-short
3. Load your text with strong verbs
4. Avoid the passive voice ( No “en”or “ed” verb endings that have the words was, were, is…like “was chosen”. Use a subject and verb constructions that are active in Voice.)
5. Use a resource book if you want to use some specific vocabulary, but make your choice natural for yourself. Your report should be written in your business voice, not sounding like a textbook!
• Take another look: Reread your work and if your writing buddy can help you, read it quickly to him or her for clarity.
Step Five: T means… That’s a Wrap!
As you near the point of sending the writing:
• Use Spell check!
• Read your work yourself…backwards from the end to the intro, checking the spelling yourself.
• Give the report to another to read and EDIT, not to change content.
• Double back to your writing buddy through email, if necessary
Following this process, with special attention, and your result will be a more confident you. Remember, you have a lot to make up for, years of avoiding writing. You can prove yourself a capable business writer using these steps. Do it in a New York minute!
Trish Rubin M.Ed, MGA
The EdVentures Group Consulting
You know the feeling?
You’ve dodged the writing bullet for days...
It’s time to hit that send button and share your words of wisdom. Your supervisor or your client is waiting. And you’ve got nada, nothing except a blank screen and a deadline. What’s worse is you’re having flashbacks to college. It’s the night before a term paper is due and you have zip to show! Instinctively, you reach for that old familiar standby…Cliff Notes! Yes, Cliff Notes got you through English class!
But, there’s no Cliff Notes for weekly summaries, reports, evaluations, or RFP, s! And, no amount of excuses, coffee or Red Bull will help you now. But a tight plan that saves you from being a master of disaster when it comes to business writing can save the day, and those sleepless nights that proceed the deadline day!
You are not alone. These anxious writing moments are suffered in offices across the world. They create enough job stress to collectively power a small city. And they shake even the most confident business person throughout the organization, from the mail room to the board room.
Writing skill matters in business. You may be the Face to Face deal closer extraordinaire or the networking legend in your workplace, but your balance sheet is out of whack if you can’t talk the talk in writing. Today’s complete business person balances oral and written skill. Confident writers know the power of INKING THEIR THINKING, and they use it to advance in their career.
Facing your writing demons means growing up. You’ve got to get rid of the negative image being a poor writer. More than likely, it’s a view left over from inadequate high school or college classes. Sometimes it’s the result of no real experience as a writer. Can you imagine hitting a 67 on the Golf course each Saturday without constant practice and instruction? Well, writing, like golfing is based on muscle memory. The more you think and write, the more you imprint the process through application, the easier it is to write. Avoidance is the killer, and those deadlines keep coming. Think what it would feel like to be a confident wordsmith. You can be, and you can do it quickly…using the New York MINIT process as your model.
The New York MINIT writing framework reflects the urgent pace of a New York minute when things get done in a flash. After years of writing neglect, you need to get capable on the job, fast. And the New York MINIT framework let’s you develop a quick, clean process. You can internalize the MINIT system and use it easily, days before your writing is due for deadline. You’ll confidently meet a deadline. And, with practice, you’ll learn to write quickly, perhaps even in a few short minutes as you move from one meeting to the next during a busy day! So whether you are in Des Moines or Chicago, or Manhattan or Memphis, you can use the New York MINIT framework to quickly and clearly process your thoughts into written products. You’ll soon create written business documents that get attention and praise from your readers in a New York minute!
The NEW YORK MINIT
Writing is a process. Good writers move their thinking forward from envisioning an idea to presentation of a final product. These 5 Steps in using the New York MINIT for Business Writing Success will help you do the same. They are sequential. Depending on your skill, you may become stuck in the early stages. If you run dry, return, as you should, to step one….being stuck is a sure sign that your writing idea is too broad. By starting over, you can narrow and define your thinking.
Step One: M means…. Make time to “Prewrite”!
• Think and draft your writing WITHOUT Writing: Allow yourself to “dream” it, massage your thinking, and let your mind go. Good writers do a lot of “Prewriting” before they actually put pen to paper! This could take hours or a few days, but it is MOST important. Prewriting is done without paper.
• Think about your audience: Who will read this? Put yourself in his or her shoes as you pre-write. Think from the client’s point of view. What do they WANT to know? If it’s not clear. Get on the phone and ask!!
Step Two: I means… Incorporate “Feedback Lines”!
• Find a writing buddy: Use someone not related to you who can talk to you about your prewriting thoughts in a quick conference. Tell the partner you want them to listen for small details of what you’ve thought about. This should take five minutes! It is not a critique, it’s a coaching session. Your partner listens and does not control the talk. You should be doing the talking. You are trying to narrow your broad thinking.
• Note to Self: Use post-its, use tape recorder, one scrap of paper or your blog. Start to write your idea. For a sustained period of time of at least 15 minutes.
• Put the Editing Police on Notice! DO not stop to look at individual words as you get your ideas down….DO NOT edit yourself at this point. It is too early in the process. Research shows this is the time when people give up. It is not the time to nitpick over word, phrases or spelling. You want to make meaning. Give yourself permission to write a little garbage if you have to. Don’t get stuck here. Write freely! It’s for your eyes only.
• Take Inventory: Look at what you have written and circle the main points. Do they seem to be tied to a small enough idea? The mistake writers make is they take on too much and overwhelm themselves and the reader. You may have a template you use for a weekly report which should tighten your direction. If you have no template, remember less is often more. If you have the best points on the paper, you won’t need to be a Ramblin’ Man or Woman when you write the draft!
• Outline Away! Use whatever means works to create a quick outline. Use traditional Roman numerals, use bullets, use post it’s. Use what fits as you order your thinking.
Step Three: N means….Now Write!
• Write your draft! and begin with one or two sentences that you use a formula over and over. Write an opener that you can tailor later just to get you started. Then write past this opener. You can always go back and revise it. Treat it as your running start from the high diving board. You might need it the first time you write, but chances are you will cut it in the final version.
• Don’t look at your first free-writing! Just keep your points in mind and begin fresh. Looking to the free-writing may cause you to become unfocused. You want your ideas to flow and new stronger thoughts to bubble up.
• Think simple! You are building a simple house of text! You need a front door, a kitchen a living room and a bedroom and a back door. Walk your reader through the house! It’s five rooms…Front door is the opener or Intro, the three rooms are main phases, points, articles, or benchmarks, depending on the writing task. Your closing is the back porch. Remember, keep it tight. No need to build a mansion!
.
Step Four: I means… Invest in Voice!
• Make your draft live: Use a few writer’s age old tricks:
1. Take out your wordy adjectives and long phrases.
2. Vary the length of your sentences: short-short- long-short
3. Load your text with strong verbs
4. Avoid the passive voice ( No “en”or “ed” verb endings that have the words was, were, is…like “was chosen”. Use a subject and verb constructions that are active in Voice.)
5. Use a resource book if you want to use some specific vocabulary, but make your choice natural for yourself. Your report should be written in your business voice, not sounding like a textbook!
• Take another look: Reread your work and if your writing buddy can help you, read it quickly to him or her for clarity.
Step Five: T means… That’s a Wrap!
As you near the point of sending the writing:
• Use Spell check!
• Read your work yourself…backwards from the end to the intro, checking the spelling yourself.
• Give the report to another to read and EDIT, not to change content.
• Double back to your writing buddy through email, if necessary
Following this process, with special attention, and your result will be a more confident you. Remember, you have a lot to make up for, years of avoiding writing. You can prove yourself a capable business writer using these steps. Do it in a New York minute!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Order, Confidence, Identity and Entertainment at 35,000ft.
Order, Confidence, Identity, and Entertainment at 35,00 Feet
The poem about leaving Japan begins in seat 40J
Blue fabric seat back of 39J talks to me in living color of the New York flight plan.
All I know for sure is time
Leave at 4 pm July 4
Arrrive 4pm July 4
Happy Birthday to me
The slow boat to my new age at 588mph
Who gets the first phone call when my New York travelled toes touch the tarmac?
I challenge my thinking
Drifting on a buzz of white wine and short term memory.
A year ago today all was confusion out of the Dublin publife into trendy Mayfair
wandering moonchild in the buzz of Live 8 and lastminute.com
Now a year and a lifetime later
A new order
Confidence
Identity
Past the shock horror of a loner UK birthday
The rise of the sun warms my shoulder
I exist bloom at 35,000ft so supremely perched
classic rock tunes in my ear
wriggling rock and roll in window seat
Ignoring the sidelong glance of aislesitters
Chill. Kakoo-ii-like. It's my birthday.
I soar into a new horizon
Side step the international dateline
Led Zepplin weaves its familiar spell
la la the love that I found
breathing deep the cabin air
celebrate me home.
xxxx
The poem about leaving Japan begins in seat 40J
Blue fabric seat back of 39J talks to me in living color of the New York flight plan.
All I know for sure is time
Leave at 4 pm July 4
Arrrive 4pm July 4
Happy Birthday to me
The slow boat to my new age at 588mph
Who gets the first phone call when my New York travelled toes touch the tarmac?
I challenge my thinking
Drifting on a buzz of white wine and short term memory.
A year ago today all was confusion out of the Dublin publife into trendy Mayfair
wandering moonchild in the buzz of Live 8 and lastminute.com
Now a year and a lifetime later
A new order
Confidence
Identity
Past the shock horror of a loner UK birthday
The rise of the sun warms my shoulder
I exist bloom at 35,000ft so supremely perched
classic rock tunes in my ear
wriggling rock and roll in window seat
Ignoring the sidelong glance of aislesitters
Chill. Kakoo-ii-like. It's my birthday.
I soar into a new horizon
Side step the international dateline
Led Zepplin weaves its familiar spell
la la the love that I found
breathing deep the cabin air
celebrate me home.
xxxx
Narita Airport Stations
Narita Airport Stations
Adelle drove me to JFK airport
in the late model BMW she won in her divorce.
It' s what girlfriends do for girlfriends, she'd emailed in the morning.
On the Long Island Expressway she held court from the driver's seat
offering me wisdom
counseling me about dead ends as I took my last look at the New York sykline.
I watch the signs for LaGuardia airport appear.
In my confusion I am already lost in translation.
Do I ask a question? Does she know my Tokyo ticket reads JFK airport?
In silence I draft off her elegant confidence, letting go.
In the queue at JFK, I want to thank her again for my presence.
As preferred people board United 800
Me, the least preferred, use my NYC mobile.
I testify to her voice mail of the dead end,
forgetting to say thank you.
13 hours and a world away
The dead end of Narita airport.
My New York high heels click forcing sound against an ancient silence
announcing my arrival to no one
It's the new day of Japan that I'd raced to, clutching to capture.
20,000 yen in my pocket is nothing, but it feels weighty.
The currency that can't buy a thrill.
After customs
My first bow to the new world order
I hold a lifeless cell phone in my sweaty palm
My eyes search for reason and English in this most distant of discord.
My crossroads.
A forgotten prayer fights into my consciousness
forces its way into my throat parched from pressurization.
I nearly gasp as I breathe with supreme intention
Merging Zen peace with Catholic guilt and subjugation.
I flip the lifeless cellphone open
look into its blank face
whisper a prayer of thanks into its empty ear
and step take my step into the Tokyo rain.
Adelle drove me to JFK airport
in the late model BMW she won in her divorce.
It' s what girlfriends do for girlfriends, she'd emailed in the morning.
On the Long Island Expressway she held court from the driver's seat
offering me wisdom
counseling me about dead ends as I took my last look at the New York sykline.
I watch the signs for LaGuardia airport appear.
In my confusion I am already lost in translation.
Do I ask a question? Does she know my Tokyo ticket reads JFK airport?
In silence I draft off her elegant confidence, letting go.
In the queue at JFK, I want to thank her again for my presence.
As preferred people board United 800
Me, the least preferred, use my NYC mobile.
I testify to her voice mail of the dead end,
forgetting to say thank you.
13 hours and a world away
The dead end of Narita airport.
My New York high heels click forcing sound against an ancient silence
announcing my arrival to no one
It's the new day of Japan that I'd raced to, clutching to capture.
20,000 yen in my pocket is nothing, but it feels weighty.
The currency that can't buy a thrill.
After customs
My first bow to the new world order
I hold a lifeless cell phone in my sweaty palm
My eyes search for reason and English in this most distant of discord.
My crossroads.
A forgotten prayer fights into my consciousness
forces its way into my throat parched from pressurization.
I nearly gasp as I breathe with supreme intention
Merging Zen peace with Catholic guilt and subjugation.
I flip the lifeless cellphone open
look into its blank face
whisper a prayer of thanks into its empty ear
and step take my step into the Tokyo rain.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
New York Zydeco
It's a year since I went to New Orleans, one of my most favorite spots in this country to relax and play. After the hurricane, I looked for ways to get back...and I am headed to do some good service work there with the Rotary...but until I get there, I will get my NOLA fix on 45th Street...Zydeco dancing!
At Connolly's..a good Irish Bar...a group of experienced and newbie dancers gathered to hear an amazing Zydeco band and to dance until Midnight...now in NOLA things would just be heating up at that hour!!!
But thanks to my friend Adelle who put out the word, I was able to enjoy an evening learning the Cajun Waltz...with my friends Andy and Ivi, we took our turns on the floor doing our Zydeco thing! It was the most welcoming dance floor in the city, I am sure. Another chance awaits us on June 18th!
And now if I only could find a place for Cajun rice and beans!!!
At Connolly's..a good Irish Bar...a group of experienced and newbie dancers gathered to hear an amazing Zydeco band and to dance until Midnight...now in NOLA things would just be heating up at that hour!!!
But thanks to my friend Adelle who put out the word, I was able to enjoy an evening learning the Cajun Waltz...with my friends Andy and Ivi, we took our turns on the floor doing our Zydeco thing! It was the most welcoming dance floor in the city, I am sure. Another chance awaits us on June 18th!
And now if I only could find a place for Cajun rice and beans!!!
The New York MINIT: Inviting Connectivity in Social Networking
Jump In!
As my own message on the previous page illustrates, connectivity abounds as you network in the New York MINIT for your IM hours. Jump in! Find the joy in connecting with others. Use those social moments to build communication and connection. For the more timid communicator, this book may be a part of an action plan to create the 24/7 networker. For others, communication comes naturally and you want to improve your skill. No matter who you are, keep your eye on the prize: communication success! This will lead to your reach your own particular goal. With that in mind let’s jump right in!
How do you live IM connectivity?
• Use a network of new friends and established friends and mix the two together. The interesting person you spoke with at the coffee shop in the morning could be an invitee to a gathering of established friends that evening.
• Use the key words you established in your network challenge and study them during your work week. Choose a behavior and work it on the social scene after you’ve practiced it in your work day…these skills transfer. And they do so with fun in the IM hours on the social scene. Even a “playful” skill at work, which may not be used much or appreciated, is perfect for developing for the social scene.
• Keep in mind the “joining” principal discussed earlier…get out there and meet people. Go online and play poker with a group, join a list serve, go on an online dating site, volunteer, join a church or synagogue become a member of the zoo, or a museum, even do your clothes in a Laundromat in a great part of town! Get your own network going so that you can continually blend connections with the people you meet and create new networking links!
Rapport Skills on the Social Scene
You are using your Connectivity skills from PM and AM when you build your IM Towers in New York MINIT. The good news is while networking in the social scene the pace is more comfortable and fun. Try to avoid the “take no prisoners” approach that you use at a networking event! When you build social rapport, it’s done easily and in an open, welcoming way. Take your time! And despite my introduction…I love that pace of inviting connection even if seems a bit frantic every now and then.
Tools of the Social LIGHT Trade
• Eye contact is still very important in the social hours of IM communication. Of course you have to be ready to change gears often as you mingle. Meeting men and woman together often requires that you shift eye contact style. In the IM hours you still have the same need for strong eye contact when hanging out and meeting new friends. More neutral eye contact socially is still welcoming when being introduced for the first time, but it can be friendly and welcoming. When going out on your own and you are meeting people without being in a group, keep in mind that new people make impressions of you quickly. Your eyes can say a lot about how confident you are and this confidence invites connectivity. Look at people!
• Keep body language in mind even on the social scene. A tall confident stance, the ability to move around the room and chat while making eye contact is important. Be direct when introducing yourself and try to use the tricks discussed in Volume One to remember people’s names!
• Use space to your advantage by moving around and connecting with people. Don’t stay in one place, even if you are with a partner, break away from time to time and move together so people see you in different ways, on your own or as part of a pair.
Be the Catalyst!
• Planning for connectivity can be daunting on the social scene. But simply take the plunge. Use your skills from the workplace to organize your social occasions. Getting people together purposefully will help you to be seen as a “go to” person. If you don’t like to put evening or weekend activities together, come up with an idea and do what you do on the job…delegate! You can work with someone to bring a group together so it’s not all on your shoulders.
• The natural gathering patterns of the social IM hours at restaurants, clubs, gyms can seem overwhelming to engineer as a networker. Be an organizer. Take charge and bring people together or collaborate with others to do it.. Use emails, e-vites, electronic boards to help you set the scene for networking in the IM hours. Be decisive and know what you want to offer people for a social activity. Make sure it’s clear about when it starts, and who is welcomed to come. It may seem a bit formal, but once people gather the informality takes over and everyone will thank you for bringing people together, old and new friends who can share their connectivity with you and each other.
• Use your communication skills to show initiative when people get bogged down with deciding about an evening. For instance, If you are out with the group, be the facilitator. You don’t have to be a tour guide waving a little flag. You can speak up with an approachable open voice and try to get people “unstuck “ so the good times can continue to roll…” Use good conversation stems like.. “I’m not sure we are all clear about…” or “Maybe let’s all look at it this way…” Or get others to agree on next steps…” Let’s have X call the restaurant down the street and Y call the one around the corner to see if we can get a table.” Believe me, people want to be led in social situations and are glad to give someone the power. Take it! You can be as smooth as you schmooze as you are in a meeting at the office!
• Keep in mind the need for face to face contact as you build your social network. Electronic means of staying in touch support the network, but do not replace getting face to face with people regularly.
As my own message on the previous page illustrates, connectivity abounds as you network in the New York MINIT for your IM hours. Jump in! Find the joy in connecting with others. Use those social moments to build communication and connection. For the more timid communicator, this book may be a part of an action plan to create the 24/7 networker. For others, communication comes naturally and you want to improve your skill. No matter who you are, keep your eye on the prize: communication success! This will lead to your reach your own particular goal. With that in mind let’s jump right in!
How do you live IM connectivity?
• Use a network of new friends and established friends and mix the two together. The interesting person you spoke with at the coffee shop in the morning could be an invitee to a gathering of established friends that evening.
• Use the key words you established in your network challenge and study them during your work week. Choose a behavior and work it on the social scene after you’ve practiced it in your work day…these skills transfer. And they do so with fun in the IM hours on the social scene. Even a “playful” skill at work, which may not be used much or appreciated, is perfect for developing for the social scene.
• Keep in mind the “joining” principal discussed earlier…get out there and meet people. Go online and play poker with a group, join a list serve, go on an online dating site, volunteer, join a church or synagogue become a member of the zoo, or a museum, even do your clothes in a Laundromat in a great part of town! Get your own network going so that you can continually blend connections with the people you meet and create new networking links!
Rapport Skills on the Social Scene
You are using your Connectivity skills from PM and AM when you build your IM Towers in New York MINIT. The good news is while networking in the social scene the pace is more comfortable and fun. Try to avoid the “take no prisoners” approach that you use at a networking event! When you build social rapport, it’s done easily and in an open, welcoming way. Take your time! And despite my introduction…I love that pace of inviting connection even if seems a bit frantic every now and then.
Tools of the Social LIGHT Trade
• Eye contact is still very important in the social hours of IM communication. Of course you have to be ready to change gears often as you mingle. Meeting men and woman together often requires that you shift eye contact style. In the IM hours you still have the same need for strong eye contact when hanging out and meeting new friends. More neutral eye contact socially is still welcoming when being introduced for the first time, but it can be friendly and welcoming. When going out on your own and you are meeting people without being in a group, keep in mind that new people make impressions of you quickly. Your eyes can say a lot about how confident you are and this confidence invites connectivity. Look at people!
• Keep body language in mind even on the social scene. A tall confident stance, the ability to move around the room and chat while making eye contact is important. Be direct when introducing yourself and try to use the tricks discussed in Volume One to remember people’s names!
• Use space to your advantage by moving around and connecting with people. Don’t stay in one place, even if you are with a partner, break away from time to time and move together so people see you in different ways, on your own or as part of a pair.
Be the Catalyst!
• Planning for connectivity can be daunting on the social scene. But simply take the plunge. Use your skills from the workplace to organize your social occasions. Getting people together purposefully will help you to be seen as a “go to” person. If you don’t like to put evening or weekend activities together, come up with an idea and do what you do on the job…delegate! You can work with someone to bring a group together so it’s not all on your shoulders.
• The natural gathering patterns of the social IM hours at restaurants, clubs, gyms can seem overwhelming to engineer as a networker. Be an organizer. Take charge and bring people together or collaborate with others to do it.. Use emails, e-vites, electronic boards to help you set the scene for networking in the IM hours. Be decisive and know what you want to offer people for a social activity. Make sure it’s clear about when it starts, and who is welcomed to come. It may seem a bit formal, but once people gather the informality takes over and everyone will thank you for bringing people together, old and new friends who can share their connectivity with you and each other.
• Use your communication skills to show initiative when people get bogged down with deciding about an evening. For instance, If you are out with the group, be the facilitator. You don’t have to be a tour guide waving a little flag. You can speak up with an approachable open voice and try to get people “unstuck “ so the good times can continue to roll…” Use good conversation stems like.. “I’m not sure we are all clear about…” or “Maybe let’s all look at it this way…” Or get others to agree on next steps…” Let’s have X call the restaurant down the street and Y call the one around the corner to see if we can get a table.” Believe me, people want to be led in social situations and are glad to give someone the power. Take it! You can be as smooth as you schmooze as you are in a meeting at the office!
• Keep in mind the need for face to face contact as you build your social network. Electronic means of staying in touch support the network, but do not replace getting face to face with people regularly.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Why Don't They listen? Rotary Speech
My topic today is listening....I am a member of the International Listening Association...really. There is such an organization. So theser's some credibility for you!
Why did I join? because over the years I began to see the value of listening in my own personal and professional life. I think having children really did it for me...got me into listening....because as my babies grew I kept thinking..."Why Don't They Listen?"
Have you ever felt that in you personal life? Think for a moment about an instance when you've felt that in your personal life.
Now think about your workplace...do people trult listen there? Do the same thing. Think of something that shows you people don't listen in their jobs.
You are probably seeing similar examples of people who do the following:
Have short attention
Can't stop interupting
seem to talk about themselves even after you've talked.
Well,,,,it's a national epidemic...the lack of listening...and there are theories aboout why it is getting worse...and it's generational...people did seem to listen better 40 years ago. I will give you reasons why in this short talk and give you one or two ways to help yourself as a listener.
We must first go beyond hearing...listening is processing...and the generations now process differently.
Research today paints a bleak picture for the growth of listening...technology is wonderful but it can be a challenge to listening...here are a few facts...
18,000 hours of TV logged
Average span of attention...90 sec.
Added persoanal inofrmation
Phone numbers for a family of three... email rather than talk...phne from inside the house. or outside...grocereis..
check email before coffee!
Why did I join? because over the years I began to see the value of listening in my own personal and professional life. I think having children really did it for me...got me into listening....because as my babies grew I kept thinking..."Why Don't They Listen?"
Have you ever felt that in you personal life? Think for a moment about an instance when you've felt that in your personal life.
Now think about your workplace...do people trult listen there? Do the same thing. Think of something that shows you people don't listen in their jobs.
You are probably seeing similar examples of people who do the following:
Have short attention
Can't stop interupting
seem to talk about themselves even after you've talked.
Well,,,,it's a national epidemic...the lack of listening...and there are theories aboout why it is getting worse...and it's generational...people did seem to listen better 40 years ago. I will give you reasons why in this short talk and give you one or two ways to help yourself as a listener.
We must first go beyond hearing...listening is processing...and the generations now process differently.
Research today paints a bleak picture for the growth of listening...technology is wonderful but it can be a challenge to listening...here are a few facts...
18,000 hours of TV logged
Average span of attention...90 sec.
Added persoanal inofrmation
Phone numbers for a family of three... email rather than talk...phne from inside the house. or outside...grocereis..
check email before coffee!
Toastmasters #2 Speech...Gimme an M
Mr. Toastmaster, fellow SEC Roughriders and Honored Guests
Since coming to Toastmastes I have learned to value ....The Pause.....and The value in revealing yourself to you audience.
Today I atttempt .....BOTH....as I reveal something to you that few people...specially buiness people know about me....
I was a teenaged......CHEERLEADER,,,rah rah!
but I was awful...couldn't cut it and my career was over in a NY Minute!!!
And Today standing here in these minutes with you in NY,,,,I wish I had been better as a Cheerleader. NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO CHEER ABOUT!
And ...it's not a basketball star...or a football hero....it's me...and what I want to Cheer about is my own soon to be trademarked concept for Business Success...The New YORK MINIT...Minit!
Ok..you're thinking...not only is she bad a cheeleading...her spelling is awful...MINIT? What's up with that?
Welll..that's my unique acronym for business communication success that I am branding and selling in books, keynotes and workshops...I want to give you a few seconds today with my NY MINIT!
And you say...TRISH..."What makes you think you are an expert in Business Communication and Networking Skills?
Let me tell you my story ...judge for yourself...
I came to NYC last year....Only my doorman knew my name.
I knew no one...nada Oh...excuse me I am learning spanish and I am trying to use it in as many ways as I can...part of multi tasking...
Againnn
I knew nobody..nada
I needed to make Money...dinero...si?
I needed friends...amigos...
I needed dimero...
I needed good work trabajo...
I needed dinero...
and I stand here today telling you I have hit the mark in this city in a year...and my framework for doing it is the New York Minute...if you give me a few of your own, I'll explain as I cheer with you about the Big Idea behind the NY MINIT...ready?
Gimme an M....M meaans make connections and Meaning as you begin to network...I can teach you a few skills to help you be solid in a boardroom or on a convention floor...in a new york minute.
Gimme an I...I means Invite connectivity through your rapport skils, eye contact...body language and questions...I can teach yu to do this skillfully...in a New York Minute.
Gimme a N...N means Nice Work...you must show you are a great communicator by being quiet....listen to others nice work...I can teach you how...in a new York Minute.
Gimme an I...I means that It's my Pleasure,,,now you can talk in business but make it tight and make it defined... I can teach you how to talk in business settings...in a New York Minute.
And T means that's a Wrap/RAP... I can teach you to talk your way to a perfect end to close a conversation, a phone call or a deal!...and do it in a NY Minute!
Want to learn more?
I have many minutes to share!
Since coming to Toastmastes I have learned to value ....The Pause.....and The value in revealing yourself to you audience.
Today I atttempt .....BOTH....as I reveal something to you that few people...specially buiness people know about me....
I was a teenaged......CHEERLEADER,,,rah rah!
but I was awful...couldn't cut it and my career was over in a NY Minute!!!
And Today standing here in these minutes with you in NY,,,,I wish I had been better as a Cheerleader. NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO CHEER ABOUT!
And ...it's not a basketball star...or a football hero....it's me...and what I want to Cheer about is my own soon to be trademarked concept for Business Success...The New YORK MINIT...Minit!
Ok..you're thinking...not only is she bad a cheeleading...her spelling is awful...MINIT? What's up with that?
Welll..that's my unique acronym for business communication success that I am branding and selling in books, keynotes and workshops...I want to give you a few seconds today with my NY MINIT!
And you say...TRISH..."What makes you think you are an expert in Business Communication and Networking Skills?
Let me tell you my story ...judge for yourself...
I came to NYC last year....Only my doorman knew my name.
I knew no one...nada Oh...excuse me I am learning spanish and I am trying to use it in as many ways as I can...part of multi tasking...
Againnn
I knew nobody..nada
I needed to make Money...dinero...si?
I needed friends...amigos...
I needed dimero...
I needed good work trabajo...
I needed dinero...
and I stand here today telling you I have hit the mark in this city in a year...and my framework for doing it is the New York Minute...if you give me a few of your own, I'll explain as I cheer with you about the Big Idea behind the NY MINIT...ready?
Gimme an M....M meaans make connections and Meaning as you begin to network...I can teach you a few skills to help you be solid in a boardroom or on a convention floor...in a new york minute.
Gimme an I...I means Invite connectivity through your rapport skils, eye contact...body language and questions...I can teach yu to do this skillfully...in a New York Minute.
Gimme a N...N means Nice Work...you must show you are a great communicator by being quiet....listen to others nice work...I can teach you how...in a new York Minute.
Gimme an I...I means that It's my Pleasure,,,now you can talk in business but make it tight and make it defined... I can teach you how to talk in business settings...in a New York Minute.
And T means that's a Wrap/RAP... I can teach you to talk your way to a perfect end to close a conversation, a phone call or a deal!...and do it in a NY Minute!
Want to learn more?
I have many minutes to share!
Gimme an M! The New York MINIT for the Workplace
Gimme an M!
As in the first Volume, the acronym of the New York MINIT will help to place you in a power position as the architect of your emerging unique communications skyline!
As you prepare to read about these AM workplace tools and as you get ready to practice with the AM Networking Challenges, keep focused on being your absolute best....a minute spent in NYC is full of Possibility, Passion and Promise...bring that attitude with you as you create your new business skyline every day!
Gimme an M...The M in the MINIT is for.........Make Connections: Ways to Develop Meaningful Data that builds Confidence
Gimme an I.....The I in the MINIT is for...........Invite Connectivity; Ways to Become the Must Know Person in an Organization
Gimme an N....The N in the MINIT is for..........Nice Work: Ways to Create Geniune on the Job Trust
Gimme an I......The I in the MINIT is for...........It's My Pleasure: Ways to Spread the Word about Who and What you Do
Gimme a T.......The T in the MINIT is for.........That's a Wrap/Rap: Ways to Close and Follow-u that Get you Noticed
As in the first Volume, the acronym of the New York MINIT will help to place you in a power position as the architect of your emerging unique communications skyline!
As you prepare to read about these AM workplace tools and as you get ready to practice with the AM Networking Challenges, keep focused on being your absolute best....a minute spent in NYC is full of Possibility, Passion and Promise...bring that attitude with you as you create your new business skyline every day!
Gimme an M...The M in the MINIT is for.........Make Connections: Ways to Develop Meaningful Data that builds Confidence
Gimme an I.....The I in the MINIT is for...........Invite Connectivity; Ways to Become the Must Know Person in an Organization
Gimme an N....The N in the MINIT is for..........Nice Work: Ways to Create Geniune on the Job Trust
Gimme an I......The I in the MINIT is for...........It's My Pleasure: Ways to Spread the Word about Who and What you Do
Gimme a T.......The T in the MINIT is for.........That's a Wrap/Rap: Ways to Close and Follow-u that Get you Noticed
Gimme an M! The New York MINIT for the Workplace
Gimme an M!
As in the first Volume, the acronym of the New York MINIT will help to place you in a power position as the architect of your emerging unique communications skyline!
As you prepare to read about these AM workplace tools and as you get ready to practice with the AM Networking Challenges, keep focused on being your absolute best....a minute spent in NYC is full of Possibility, Passion and Promise...bring that attitude with you as you create your new business skyline every day!
Gimme an M...The M in the MINIT is for.........Make Connections: Ways to Develop Meaningful Data that builds Confidence
Gimme an I.....The I in the MINIT is for...........Invite Connectivity; Ways to Become the Must Know Person in an Organization
Gimme an N....The N in the MINIT is for..........Nice Work: Ways to Create Geniune on the Job Trust
Gimme an I......The I in the MINIT is for...........It's My Pleasure: Ways to Spread the Word about Who and What you Do
Gimme a T.......The T in the MINIT is for.........That's a Wrap/Rap: Ways to Close and Follow-u that Get you Noticed
As in the first Volume, the acronym of the New York MINIT will help to place you in a power position as the architect of your emerging unique communications skyline!
As you prepare to read about these AM workplace tools and as you get ready to practice with the AM Networking Challenges, keep focused on being your absolute best....a minute spent in NYC is full of Possibility, Passion and Promise...bring that attitude with you as you create your new business skyline every day!
Gimme an M...The M in the MINIT is for.........Make Connections: Ways to Develop Meaningful Data that builds Confidence
Gimme an I.....The I in the MINIT is for...........Invite Connectivity; Ways to Become the Must Know Person in an Organization
Gimme an N....The N in the MINIT is for..........Nice Work: Ways to Create Geniune on the Job Trust
Gimme an I......The I in the MINIT is for...........It's My Pleasure: Ways to Spread the Word about Who and What you Do
Gimme a T.......The T in the MINIT is for.........That's a Wrap/Rap: Ways to Close and Follow-u that Get you Noticed
The New York MINIT in the Workplace: A Guide to BIG talk in Small Rooms!
So...one book wasn't enough for you,kid? Great!
I am hoping that you have used the skills from the first Volume of the New York Minute, "The Little Guide to Big City Networking", to sharpen yourself as a fluid, comfortable networker. Your calendar is now sprinkled with just the right balance of morning networking breakfasts, power lunches and after hours cocktail events where you have found a niche group to court!
Now turn your attention to the workplace. You can network there, but your networking takes on a different face. You are no longer looking to get business as you do in the PM hours...you are learning to be a high level communicator, someone who can be seen as a trusted,GO TO person. The Goal of this Guide is to give you the tools that help build a genuine, unique repertoire of skills that not only help you help you communicate on the job but to manage your communication for great career results.
And it doesn't matter where you are.... in a large or small company,,,in the USA or the UK, you can adopt the same savvy New York MINIT model that was usd in Volume ONE.
In the Workplace edition of this New York MINIT Guide, you'll Follow the familiar framework as it propels you to success on the job!
Build your AM Towers
As in the first book, I invite the image of a unique skyline that you build that reflects who you are in your development as a Business Communicator. If you've read the first Volume of The New York Minute you will have build strong, showplace PM towers based upon your networking skill. In the AM Workplace design...your communication towers are not as grand, but there are MANY and they are consistent and familiar looking towers in your skyline, The more AM tools you refine,,,the bigger your skyline! The MINIT framework can help you shine in your office!
I am hoping that you have used the skills from the first Volume of the New York Minute, "The Little Guide to Big City Networking", to sharpen yourself as a fluid, comfortable networker. Your calendar is now sprinkled with just the right balance of morning networking breakfasts, power lunches and after hours cocktail events where you have found a niche group to court!
Now turn your attention to the workplace. You can network there, but your networking takes on a different face. You are no longer looking to get business as you do in the PM hours...you are learning to be a high level communicator, someone who can be seen as a trusted,GO TO person. The Goal of this Guide is to give you the tools that help build a genuine, unique repertoire of skills that not only help you help you communicate on the job but to manage your communication for great career results.
And it doesn't matter where you are.... in a large or small company,,,in the USA or the UK, you can adopt the same savvy New York MINIT model that was usd in Volume ONE.
In the Workplace edition of this New York MINIT Guide, you'll Follow the familiar framework as it propels you to success on the job!
Build your AM Towers
As in the first book, I invite the image of a unique skyline that you build that reflects who you are in your development as a Business Communicator. If you've read the first Volume of The New York Minute you will have build strong, showplace PM towers based upon your networking skill. In the AM Workplace design...your communication towers are not as grand, but there are MANY and they are consistent and familiar looking towers in your skyline, The more AM tools you refine,,,the bigger your skyline! The MINIT framework can help you shine in your office!
The New York MINIT in the Workplace: A Guide to BIG talk in Small Rooms!
So...one book wasn't enough for you,kid? Great!
I am hoping that you have used the skills from the first Volume of the New York Minute, "The Little Guide to Big City Networking", to sharpen yourself as a fluid, comfortable networker. Your calendar is now sprinkled with just the right balance of morning networking breakfasts, power lunches and after hours cocktail events where you have found a niche group to court!
Now turn your attention to the workplace. You can network there, but your networking takes on a different face. You are no longer looking to get business as you do in the PM hours...you are learning to be a high level communicator, someone who can be seen as a trusted,GO TO person. The Goal of this Guide is to give you the tools that help build a genuine, unique repertoire of skills that not only help you help you communicate on the job but to manage your communication for great career results.
And it doesn't matter where you are.... in a large or small company,,,in the USA or the UK, you can adopt the same savvy New York MINIT model that was usd in Volume ONE.
In the Workplace edition of this New York MINIT Guide, you'll Follow the familiar framework as it propels you to success on the job!
Build your AM Towers
As in the first book, I invite the image of a unique skyline that you build that reflects who you are in your development as a Business Communicator. If you've read the first Volume of The New York Minute you will have build strong, showplace PM towers based upon your networking skill. In the AM Workplace design...your communication towers are not as grand, but there are MANY and they are consistent and familiar looking towers in your skyline, The more AM tools you refine,,,the bigger your skyline! The MINIT framework can help you shine in your office!
I am hoping that you have used the skills from the first Volume of the New York Minute, "The Little Guide to Big City Networking", to sharpen yourself as a fluid, comfortable networker. Your calendar is now sprinkled with just the right balance of morning networking breakfasts, power lunches and after hours cocktail events where you have found a niche group to court!
Now turn your attention to the workplace. You can network there, but your networking takes on a different face. You are no longer looking to get business as you do in the PM hours...you are learning to be a high level communicator, someone who can be seen as a trusted,GO TO person. The Goal of this Guide is to give you the tools that help build a genuine, unique repertoire of skills that not only help you help you communicate on the job but to manage your communication for great career results.
And it doesn't matter where you are.... in a large or small company,,,in the USA or the UK, you can adopt the same savvy New York MINIT model that was usd in Volume ONE.
In the Workplace edition of this New York MINIT Guide, you'll Follow the familiar framework as it propels you to success on the job!
Build your AM Towers
As in the first book, I invite the image of a unique skyline that you build that reflects who you are in your development as a Business Communicator. If you've read the first Volume of The New York Minute you will have build strong, showplace PM towers based upon your networking skill. In the AM Workplace design...your communication towers are not as grand, but there are MANY and they are consistent and familiar looking towers in your skyline, The more AM tools you refine,,,the bigger your skyline! The MINIT framework can help you shine in your office!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
The New York M.I.N.I.T.: AM Power Towers for Inviting Connections at your Office
The brilliant after hours networker has to "roost" somewhere...and it's in the office! An office homebase provides the networker endless opportunity for consistent practice as she communicates with others through rapport building for results. The results are different in the office networking game. You are building good currency that is abstract,not concrete. Eventually your AM networking moves may bring you the promotion and salary you deserve, but until then, you'll build good currency with your colleagues and learn how to connect confidently with people.That's priceless.
The office is the perfect spot to refine your New York M.I.N.I.T. moves. And with any luck, you are "among friends",not strangers at work who will welcome your efforts. If you feel like you are surrounded by strangers who won't "play"...keep pushing yourself through any feeling of rejection since you'll have to bear that in PM moments with total starngers! But if it persists, I'd be on Craig's List looking for a new job!
So let's revisit "I" in the New York M.I.N.I.T...Inviting Connectivity!
Now these are your AM moves for the office,and there are similarities and differences in the connectivity you establish outside of your office and in the workplace when you work to make connections.Connections happen not by accident in the office, they are designed.
Passion for your Work
AM Connectivity sparks from within. You must bring a passion to your work everyday that is a beam...a beacon, attracting connections to those in your office. It does nat have to be done with a brashness, rather develop a sublte glow...a belief in what you do. It goes beyond spending hours at your desk...in the New York M.I.N.I.T. you get out from behind your desk and connect your passion to others through some very public ways:
Make Big Talk in a Small Room. Inviting connectivity hinges on your ability to make BIG TALK in SMALL ROOMS,not so much loud talk...but deep talk where you share your belief and passion for your work in the meeting rooms, conference rooms, elevators or break rooms of your workplace.It is a public setting and it's a place where you can share your positive view of the organization with your colleagues.
Keep it Simple. Bring your simple messages of positive spirit to the day, either in the exchanges you have in the hallway or the boardroom. Use a great quoat,and carry one in your pocket often...For example...
"Even if you're on the right track,you'll get run over if you just sit there!"
There is a sports announcer in Philadelphia who responds with the ultimate positive statement of simple connectivity.When asked, "How are you doing?" This personality responds, " Never had a bad day in my life!" A passion for living, yes?
Weave a fabric of Connections. Talk to everyone. Be sincere. The porters, the secretaries, the bosses...speak to all. If you are in an elevator, be the person who says goodmorning, or makes the first connected comment to the weather. Be noticed for your openess.
Use your PM Connectivity Skills.
Eye Contact....Here even more than in afterhours, use consistent eye contact to include people in your conversatuons, your questions, your presentations, no matter how small...keep looking at people. Look in their eyes. It helps people feel present and valued. it will make you a connected member of the group.
Approachable Voice....Use what research calls an Approachable voice to gain people's trust. Not booming, loud, shrill, but even and at the end of statements, allow you voice to lift a bit in tone to invite comments. This work well in meetings and in conference calls as well as in stand up meetings in the hallways!
Inquiry... Be there with a question that shows you have listened, from the most casual moment of meeting in the lunchroom, to being at the CEO's meeting. People who ask good questions get noticed, seem more connected and get more appreciation. Start working on asking questions without badgering.
Listen! Listen!...As with your PM work in a big room, keep aware of networking in a small room...and us he Big skills of listening. It may be hard to do since research says most of us have a 90 second attention span for listening! But work to listen and frame questions or paraphrased responses as we practiced earlier. A good listener makes connection in an organization and becomes the GO TO person fast!
The office is the perfect spot to refine your New York M.I.N.I.T. moves. And with any luck, you are "among friends",not strangers at work who will welcome your efforts. If you feel like you are surrounded by strangers who won't "play"...keep pushing yourself through any feeling of rejection since you'll have to bear that in PM moments with total starngers! But if it persists, I'd be on Craig's List looking for a new job!
So let's revisit "I" in the New York M.I.N.I.T...Inviting Connectivity!
Now these are your AM moves for the office,and there are similarities and differences in the connectivity you establish outside of your office and in the workplace when you work to make connections.Connections happen not by accident in the office, they are designed.
Passion for your Work
AM Connectivity sparks from within. You must bring a passion to your work everyday that is a beam...a beacon, attracting connections to those in your office. It does nat have to be done with a brashness, rather develop a sublte glow...a belief in what you do. It goes beyond spending hours at your desk...in the New York M.I.N.I.T. you get out from behind your desk and connect your passion to others through some very public ways:
Make Big Talk in a Small Room. Inviting connectivity hinges on your ability to make BIG TALK in SMALL ROOMS,not so much loud talk...but deep talk where you share your belief and passion for your work in the meeting rooms, conference rooms, elevators or break rooms of your workplace.It is a public setting and it's a place where you can share your positive view of the organization with your colleagues.
Keep it Simple. Bring your simple messages of positive spirit to the day, either in the exchanges you have in the hallway or the boardroom. Use a great quoat,and carry one in your pocket often...For example...
"Even if you're on the right track,you'll get run over if you just sit there!"
There is a sports announcer in Philadelphia who responds with the ultimate positive statement of simple connectivity.When asked, "How are you doing?" This personality responds, " Never had a bad day in my life!" A passion for living, yes?
Weave a fabric of Connections. Talk to everyone. Be sincere. The porters, the secretaries, the bosses...speak to all. If you are in an elevator, be the person who says goodmorning, or makes the first connected comment to the weather. Be noticed for your openess.
Use your PM Connectivity Skills.
Eye Contact....Here even more than in afterhours, use consistent eye contact to include people in your conversatuons, your questions, your presentations, no matter how small...keep looking at people. Look in their eyes. It helps people feel present and valued. it will make you a connected member of the group.
Approachable Voice....Use what research calls an Approachable voice to gain people's trust. Not booming, loud, shrill, but even and at the end of statements, allow you voice to lift a bit in tone to invite comments. This work well in meetings and in conference calls as well as in stand up meetings in the hallways!
Inquiry... Be there with a question that shows you have listened, from the most casual moment of meeting in the lunchroom, to being at the CEO's meeting. People who ask good questions get noticed, seem more connected and get more appreciation. Start working on asking questions without badgering.
Listen! Listen!...As with your PM work in a big room, keep aware of networking in a small room...and us he Big skills of listening. It may be hard to do since research says most of us have a 90 second attention span for listening! But work to listen and frame questions or paraphrased responses as we practiced earlier. A good listener makes connection in an organization and becomes the GO TO person fast!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Listen to this...Event me!
Okay...I love people, places, parties, music, dancing, food, art....what don't I love???
Well...here's a new link to check out to connect to all of the above and more...http://www.eventme.com/default.aspx
This link is a goldmine for networkers...it is the brainchild of a fellow Rotarian....you will love the link and its connectivity to events in the city!!!
Enjoy!
Well...here's a new link to check out to connect to all of the above and more...http://www.eventme.com/default.aspx
This link is a goldmine for networkers...it is the brainchild of a fellow Rotarian....you will love the link and its connectivity to events in the city!!!
Enjoy!
Listen to this...Event me!
Okay...I love people, places, parties, music, dancing, food, art....what don't I love???
Well...here's a new link to check out to connect to all of the above and more...http://www.eventme.com/default.aspx
This link is a goldmine for networkers...it is the brainchild of a fellow Rotarian....you will love the link and its connectivity to events in the city!!!
Enjoy!
Well...here's a new link to check out to connect to all of the above and more...http://www.eventme.com/default.aspx
This link is a goldmine for networkers...it is the brainchild of a fellow Rotarian....you will love the link and its connectivity to events in the city!!!
Enjoy!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Women Executives See the Beauty of Networking In a “New York MINIT”
Women Executives See the Beauty of Networking In a “New York MINIT”
In a crowded conference room overlooking Madison Ave and 42nd Street the monthly meeting of the Manhattan Chapter of BPW, Business Professional Women, came to order. There wasn’t an empty seat in the house. Forty professional women of all ages and ethnicities from every corner of the city squeezed elbow to elbow around a conference table. Not the most comfortable place after a long workday. It was standing room only, but no one was complaining. The members had their après work glass of wine and cheese courtesy of BPW. There was a good buzz in the air…women at work.
The Business and Professional Women’s Manhattan Chapter is growing, and as the conference room attests, its membership is exploding. Professional women who want to meet, to network and to support their female colleagues choose organizations like BPW for monthly meetings that help women build connections in the city, and in the case of BPW, to even do this internationally. The group offers collegiality and current topics of interest to business women.
The topic for the evening was a hot one, and the promise of a lively presentation attracted the professional woman to the table from every realm of work in the city. The speaker, Trish Rubin, Founding Principal of The EdVentures Group, a New York based consulting group with national and international clients, delivered a high energy look at the beauty of networking in the city. Ms. Rubin, who has trained adults in professional development settings in thirty-eight states and abroad, took on the topic of networking in New York, through her own lens called, “The New York MINIT”. In the short span of forty minutes, the group learned a fast-paced framework for getting the most out of networking in a room of twenty or two hundred people. “Trish’s talk kept us enthralled at the end of a long day,” said BPW member, Irina Feygin, an image consultant with Impeccable iMage, Inc. “All the "fine points" of successful networking were addressed in a wonderful , animated presentation.”
Ms. Rubin captured her audience through humor and activity. The small conference room, at first quiet, soon buzzed with vitality. People to people connectivity bubbled up in the usually staid bank conference room. The easy to employ tools of the New York MINIT, highlighted and practiced during the short presentation, created energy and power in the room that was sure to translate into each woman’s workday.
Phyllis Marino, VP of Retail for Commerce Bank and President of the BPW Manhattan chapter, scheduled the networking speaker. Ms Marino regarded the topic as one of great interest to her membership. The attendance at the session confirmed her belief. Ms. Rubin’s presentation the right fit for her organization.
The group left with some easy to implement tools to add to their networking repertoire. The New York MINIT is based on quick rapport building and connectivity for making the right connection for building contacts or getting that next job. Getting feedback from the audience was essential for Ms. Marino. One participant responded to the session positively, “My attitude about networking was definitely was changed after the session with the energy, passion and confidence portrayed by our presenter. Now I won’t be nervous to meet new people with the easy to remember technique, the NY MINIT.”
BPW meets every month at selected Commerce Bank sites and welcomes new members at each meeting. Ms. Marino invites women from all professional areas to attend the next meeting, May 18th at 5:30-7:30pm for networking and a presentation . Please call 212.600.1421 with further inquiries. Sessions are free to members and $5.00 for non-members.
Trish Rubin can be contacted at trish@theedventuresgroup.com or 856.426.1784. her blog is www.theedventuresgroup@blogspot.com . Info about the NY MINIT can be found on the blog and on Go Artcles,www.goarticles.com.
In a crowded conference room overlooking Madison Ave and 42nd Street the monthly meeting of the Manhattan Chapter of BPW, Business Professional Women, came to order. There wasn’t an empty seat in the house. Forty professional women of all ages and ethnicities from every corner of the city squeezed elbow to elbow around a conference table. Not the most comfortable place after a long workday. It was standing room only, but no one was complaining. The members had their après work glass of wine and cheese courtesy of BPW. There was a good buzz in the air…women at work.
The Business and Professional Women’s Manhattan Chapter is growing, and as the conference room attests, its membership is exploding. Professional women who want to meet, to network and to support their female colleagues choose organizations like BPW for monthly meetings that help women build connections in the city, and in the case of BPW, to even do this internationally. The group offers collegiality and current topics of interest to business women.
The topic for the evening was a hot one, and the promise of a lively presentation attracted the professional woman to the table from every realm of work in the city. The speaker, Trish Rubin, Founding Principal of The EdVentures Group, a New York based consulting group with national and international clients, delivered a high energy look at the beauty of networking in the city. Ms. Rubin, who has trained adults in professional development settings in thirty-eight states and abroad, took on the topic of networking in New York, through her own lens called, “The New York MINIT”. In the short span of forty minutes, the group learned a fast-paced framework for getting the most out of networking in a room of twenty or two hundred people. “Trish’s talk kept us enthralled at the end of a long day,” said BPW member, Irina Feygin, an image consultant with Impeccable iMage, Inc. “All the "fine points" of successful networking were addressed in a wonderful , animated presentation.”
Ms. Rubin captured her audience through humor and activity. The small conference room, at first quiet, soon buzzed with vitality. People to people connectivity bubbled up in the usually staid bank conference room. The easy to employ tools of the New York MINIT, highlighted and practiced during the short presentation, created energy and power in the room that was sure to translate into each woman’s workday.
Phyllis Marino, VP of Retail for Commerce Bank and President of the BPW Manhattan chapter, scheduled the networking speaker. Ms Marino regarded the topic as one of great interest to her membership. The attendance at the session confirmed her belief. Ms. Rubin’s presentation the right fit for her organization.
The group left with some easy to implement tools to add to their networking repertoire. The New York MINIT is based on quick rapport building and connectivity for making the right connection for building contacts or getting that next job. Getting feedback from the audience was essential for Ms. Marino. One participant responded to the session positively, “My attitude about networking was definitely was changed after the session with the energy, passion and confidence portrayed by our presenter. Now I won’t be nervous to meet new people with the easy to remember technique, the NY MINIT.”
BPW meets every month at selected Commerce Bank sites and welcomes new members at each meeting. Ms. Marino invites women from all professional areas to attend the next meeting, May 18th at 5:30-7:30pm for networking and a presentation . Please call 212.600.1421 with further inquiries. Sessions are free to members and $5.00 for non-members.
Trish Rubin can be contacted at trish@theedventuresgroup.com or 856.426.1784. her blog is www.theedventuresgroup@blogspot.com . Info about the NY MINIT can be found on the blog and on Go Artcles,www.goarticles.com.
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